From the author: When manager Fedya Koldobrykin was fired from the office due to layoffs, he decided to become a psychologist. So what? He often saw advertisements about all sorts of trainings, and even attended one. When manager Fedya Koldobrykin was fired from the office due to layoffs, he decided to become a psychologist. So what? He often saw advertisements about all sorts of trainings, and even attended one. This happened six months ago. An angry man showed up at their office, gathered all the managers and yelled at them. He called them losers and losers, called for greater discipline and to break up their competitors. And so for three whole hours! Finally, he promised to return at the most unexpected moment and take a control measurement. One of the victims quit after that, the rest, out of fright, came half an hour earlier for a whole week, then forgot. Fedya even then thought that this guy had settled down well. It was rumored that the management paid him a lot of money for this training. True, Zinochka from the neighboring department said that this was not training, but complete bullshit. Therefore, Fedya decided to go to a couple more trainings to be on the safe side before advertising his services. He really liked the first training that Fedya attended. Even more than what was done in the office. The hosts turned out to be a guy and a girl. First, they talked a little with those gathered, smiling benignly and calling on them to cleanse their souls. Then they laid everyone on the floor, told them to breathe in a special way, turned on the music and left. Fedya soon got tired of breathing and began to estimate how much money the blessed couple made for this training. Renting a hall remained an unknown quantity for him, and this tormented him. “We’ll have to find out,” thought Koldobrykin, but then his thoughts were interrupted by the heart-rending cry of the lady lying next to him. At first, Fedya felt a little uneasy and began to look around in search of sympathy. It turned out that there were no sympathizers, but several other trainers of different genders and ages were convulsing, making different sounds. Fedya guessed that this was in order here and thought that it would be nice to make such a video and use it for advertising. After another half hour, he got bored and went out into the hall to drink tea. There he met the presenters, they were very happy with Fedya and asked how the process went for him. At first Fedya tensed up and wanted to say that there were no processes going on for him, but he realized in time that they meant something different from what he meant. Just in case, he politely answered: “Thank you, okay.” For some reason, the girl was offended and said that men don’t know how to express their feelings and Fedya should have breathed longer. Fedya assured her that he would do the same next time. When Fedya returned to the hall, everyone was no longer lying down, but sitting on the floor, with the same blissful faces as those of the presenters. The lady, who was screaming loudly, began to say that she had such a deep process that had never happened before. The others also actively shared their feelings (now Fedya knew that this was what it was called). Fedya decided that he would definitely conduct such trainings himself. The main thing is to find a room with good carpeting, otherwise someone will start banging their heads. Everything that the presenter should do was easily remembered at once: call to cleanse the soul, put them to bed, tell them to breathe intensively, turn on the music and leave for a couple of hours. Then come back (don’t forget to smile blissfully!) and offer to share your feelings. Shame all those who are taciturn and definitely invite them to undergo the same training. The verbose ones will come on their own, they have a blast here. Fedya didn’t like the next training. There everyone sat in a circle and talked for an hour about something abstruse. All this was carried out by a boring aunt, without the slightest sign of makeup and in a baggy suit. Looking at her, Fedya idly wondered whether she had something worthy of attention under her suit and why she was hiding it. The participants were also somewhat strange, with mournful faces and otherworldly looks. Fedya tried to insert his high fives into the conversation a couple of timeskopecks, but they looked at him in response with such sympathy that he felt unwell. Having difficulty waiting for a break, Fedya said that he was going to have a smoke and left. Fedya was sad in his soul after this training and then he remembered that at the previous one he had been given a flyer with funny scribbles in which the unfamiliar word “tantra” was read. Music and dancing were promised. Fedya decided to go and cheer him up. Fedya liked this training the most. There were a lot of people, all this took place in some kind of club with shabby walls hung with bright, funny pictures. “This is cheap and cheerful!” thought Fedya and began to calculate the average income from such an event. The audience was very diverse, many had clearly known each other for a long time and when they met, they joyfully threw themselves into each other’s arms. The training began with everyone holding hands and starting to dance in a circle, repeating some incomprehensible words in a chant. The leader - a nimble little man of indeterminate age - stood in the center and conducted, impulsively waving his hands. Then the round dance divided into two parts and everyone began to hug each other in turns. They hugged for quite a long time, in different variations, while somehow breathing in a special way. Fedya didn’t really listen, he was looking for prettier girls and wondering how best to hug them. “It’s clear why flyers were handed out at that training,” he guessed, “there are also those who like to breathe in a special way. It’s normal, in principle, to get money for such garbage!” Finally, the presenter announced that now everyone was ready for spontaneous dancing. Several girls burst into squeals of joy and clapped their hands. The peasants began to make their way closer to them. When the dancing began, Fedya immediately realized that he could not do that. People rushed around the hall, making some completely incomprehensible body movements, sometimes jumping up, sometimes falling to the floor. Many also howled mysteriously at the same time. An auntie, middle-aged and ugly, suddenly ran into the dumbfounded Fyodor. “Why are you shy? – she asked familiarly and grabbed Fedya by the hand, “come on with us!” and dragged him across the hall, laughing and jumping up and down. Fedya barely fought off the annoying lady and, just in case, lied, “I’m married!” “So you and your wife come! – without being embarrassed at all, the aunt said, “we’re all here together!” “Jealousy is evil!” she added sternly. Before Fedya had time to come to his senses, the presenter changed the music to a slower one and said in a velvety voice that everyone could undress. There were a surprising number of people interested. It was hard to see in the twilight, but it seemed to Fedya that some of them had even undressed completely. Fedya hesitantly pulled off his T-shirt and began to look around, hoping to spot one of those pretty girls with whom he was hugging. But for some reason they were nowhere to be seen; only unattractive bodies loomed around. While wandering around the hall, Fedya noticed several more of the same restless subjects. There were clearly fewer women here than men, and very few pretty girls. “Girls should be allowed into such trainings for free,” thought Fedor, “just like in taverns. Well, or at half price...” Finally, the presenter turned down the music and announced that the training was over. “Thank you! It was incredible!” - they started shouting from different angles. Smirking smugly, the presenter added that the hall would now close, so those who wanted to continue could move to their own premises. Fyodor once again looked around the hall, but there was already no trace of the girls he liked. True, several not entirely attractive ones loomed near the door, but even those were quickly captured by the peasants who suddenly arrived in time. “Well, to hell with him,” Fedya decided, “I didn’t come here for this at all!” Koldobrykin approached the preparation of his own training with all seriousness. To begin with, I ordered freelancers to create a page on the Internet. I came up with a catchy name: “Happiness is forever!” (“Or: “happiness - right now”? - Fedya thought, - no! Better - “happiness - forever!”). And the photo next to it is Fedya with a smile of 32 teeth against the backdrop of the mountains. Picture with mountains