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I'm not a robot

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From the author: There are many desires and at the same time contradictions on the path to growing up. The ability to resolve contradictions in the sphere of “desires-reality” in a timely manner, in accordance with one’s physical and, most importantly, psychological age, is extremely important and, of course, depends on the richness, completeness, and interest of life itself at each individual moment. They were born. We begin to explore the world. Kindergarten, then school. Already in middle school, sympathy for people of the opposite sex appears, feelings, dates, first love... During this period (usually from 13 years old and above), we awaken an interest in a person as a woman or a man, in what distinguishes us from each other friend. And one more thing - adults are no longer as interesting to us as they used to be; It’s much more fun to spend time with friends who understand you, don’t bother you with their moralizing, and do the same thing as us. We are in the same boat with them, we are sailing and enjoying life. We want to be self-sufficient and independent, including financially. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out yet, they say that we are still small. We still need to grow up. But I really want to try what they, adults, can do! As we communicate, we begin to create our own groups and establish our own rules of behavior. We start smoking, buy alcohol secretly from our parents, and try what it is. And, of course, first relationships and sex. After all, if we are attracted to each other, why not try this too? We try, we feel truly grown-up and independent. We don’t know what it means to be adults (we are not adults), but we are sure that we are already adults. However, if you look at it sensibly, it turns out somehow strange: on the one hand, adults are no longer such an authority for us as before, but on the other hand, another, you still want to feel like adults! It turns out that, running away from one, we come to another, but it turns out that we end up with the same thing. Then, 18-19 years old, we became boys and girls. Stronger, more passionate feelings appear. The relationship is already more serious - we study each other, learn character traits, worldview; We spend fun, romantic time together, but not without loud quarrels and insults; we rejoice in the present, new, wonderful feeling of love and carefreely make plans for the future... Six months, a year or two pass - the desire to get married arises. Why not? We love each other, which means everything will work out for us. There is no thought that married life is something fundamentally different from meetings and dates; that emotions and feelings are dynamic in nature and undergo changes over time, just as the person himself changes. Completely previously unfamiliar feelings may appear - jealousy, fear of losing a loved one, envy of someone else's beauty, the success of others, a desire to show character in relationships and declare one's role. There is no thought that your loved one may behave in some situations differently from how we see it now or how it seems to us. And there is absolutely no thought that in 2-3 years we might suddenly separate for some reason, and perhaps with a child in our arms. And even if we understand all this to one degree or another now, we are confident that we will overcome everything - after all, we love each other, and this is the main thing. And statistics show us - indeed, the number of marriages of young families up to 20 years has been increasing over the past time. However, the number of divorces is growing even more rapidly. How is it that we believed so much in our strengths and our love? Why does this happen? Perhaps one of the reasons is because we are in a hurry? Out of fear of not being on time, or because being an adult is more interesting and meaningful, or is it just necessary and it’s time? We are in a hurry to grow up, start a family, have children and forget to fully enjoy all the delights of adolescence and adolescence with its many hobbies, activities, communication, the desire to become smarter, with its friendship and first feelings of love, getting to know each other and our relationships. We push ourselves so that we have everything like adults, and only then, having become…

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