Many in childhood swallowed grievances, even before the first kiss they were raped - by their own fears. Today they suppress joy in themselves so as not to be disappointed again. A person builds workarounds within himself so as not to encounter a lake of tears, a volcano of accumulated anger, or a dump of grievances. And if we assume that each such “workaround” requires at least 5% of vital energy, it turns out that having only 10 traumas in the past, you spend 50% of the energy and strength on them that you could direct to achieving your goals, if you were luckier and a happy life. Let's take a simple life situation. You are so busy at work that your personal life simply does not exist - it’s as if you are always just preparing for it, and for real rest, and meanwhile whole years pass. Or, for example, constantly replaying thoughts about lost love in your head, you “messed up” an important presentation at work. Usually, when we are fixated on something, everything else fades into the background. For example, you want to have a snack and everything around you becomes the background, except for the signs of cafes and restaurants. And then your husband calls you and says that the child suddenly has a fever - then any food will turn into background. And it’s good if something useful for your life takes on the main role. What if these are just past passions that were there and then, but distract from all of life here and now? Such unfinished things from the past as rubber suspenders pull us back, preventing us from getting closer to our dreams and realizing our plans. We were led to the formation of today's problems by childhood decisions about the world, others and life, which were the foundation for our future development. There and then, as a child, were you competent enough to solve the issues that you face here and now? Many of these childhood decisions have a positive impact on our lives, but there are also some that interfere. If, for example, a child is present when parents argue, he may decide that expressing anger and hostility is very bad. As a result, a child’s decision to always be pleasant, good and cheerful for others can turn adult life into constant losses where it is simply necessary to show aggression and pressure. Or vice versa: if in the parental family they paid attention to each other only with the help of slaps on the head, then a person may grow up who will constantly quarrel with his other half. Simply because he doesn’t know how to love otherwise. Perhaps it's time to change the previously received settings for the better? And then reality will definitely respond by improving the rules of the game - you will simply become open to new opportunities and solutions.