When a person stops believing in himself and loses the will to live, he is like a ship with a hole below the waterline - no matter how much water you pump out, you will always go to the bottom. P. Kornev “The Defiler” Clients who have been undergoing long-term and active treatment for infertility say that over time it becomes more and more difficult to believe in a positive result (especially if there is no result at all, even a negative one). The protocol is like going to work, only they don’t give out salaries here. An upgrade to the coveted “pregnant” status is possible (not a fact), and everyone, without exception, is given hope for the coming weeks. At a certain stage of life with a diagnosis, new emotions appear that were not there before. For example, longing for the opportunity to dream. After all, everything has its limit, and dreams of the impossible no longer bring pleasure and only hurt. At a certain stage, dreams of pregnancy, booties and heels of your baby are more like the scraping of a knife on glass. Even the most ardent optimist comes down to earth to face reality. Year after year, all emotions about this become dull: it’s no longer so painful, not so scary, there’s even some kind of life. And only rare moments of joy from friends and acquaintances from the maternity hospital or ultrasound room remind: “Don’t touch, it’s not yours!” Is it possible to dream endlessly and will there be any sense in it? Another point is related to our environment: our husband will not become a father, our mother will not become a grandmother, other relatives will also not receive new statuses (uncles, aunts, great-grandmothers, great-grandfathers). And it’s as if we are to blame for all this... After all, we can’t do it. And their dreams will not come true. Well, or you will have to call your brothers or sisters for help, and the husband will have to look for another wife, but that’s a completely different story. For some, faith in the result is a guiding beacon that illuminates the difficult path to motherhood through IVF and other procedures. After all, you can overcome such pain, waste your nerves, strength, money and your health for the sake of a result that no one guarantees you, only by believing in it. Dreaming of motherhood, a woman is ready to go through a lot. As soon as faith disappears, the procedures end. The fixation on the bodily aspect (the body does not get pregnant, so it must be forced or cured), characteristic of most infertile women, ceases to seem like the only point of support. Our psyche sits patiently on the sidelines and waits for attention to be paid to it: to unlived emotions, to crumpled dreams, to suppressed desires, to our “I”, in the end. When finally all the grievances, fears, anxieties are pulled out, when we learn to accept ourselves and all aspects of our lives, learn to live them with dignity (and emotions - constructively) and not pretend that everything is fine with us, we are full of optimism, and in fact... Wait, psyche, everything has its time: someday, instead of faith in the result, faith in yourself will appear, but that will be a completely different story. © Quoting/copying of this article (or part of it) is permitted with the obligatory indication of the author and source of citation. Independent search for the causes of YOUR infertility: the questionnaire “Infertility: I’ll figure it out myself!”. More details at the link here.