“Become the best version of yourself”, “Be better than you are!” Aren’t such slogans that have been very popular in recent years at various marathons, personal growth trainings and courses, especially on social networks, confusing? I’ll explain why. “To be better” than you really are is to hide and reject your essence and nature, your own true self, which is formed in every person in childhood, under the influence of parents, close circle and various events .Sometimes, for a number of reasons, we forget or do not understand what I am, we begin to behave, adapting to other people in order to please someone but not ourselves, living in a false sense of our identity, feeling out of place, doing as “need”, not “want”. As a result, fatigue and emotional exhaustion come, a lack of understanding of oneself and one’s desires. The key to good mental health is when a person is in touch with himself and accepts himself and all his characteristics. For this reason, such trainings hide our own uniqueness even deeper when we try to become someone else - “the best version of ourselves”, and not ourselves, we refuse “bad” emotions, instead of allowing ourselves to feel them, because this is also part of us, we believe that we should always be good, as we were taught in childhood, but this is only one side of us. There are no “bad” feelings and emotions; each one is given to us for a reason and performs certain functions. For example, anger is a basic feeling inherent in nature and is designed to protect us, to defend our rights and boundaries. Sadness helps us get through the difficult feelings of parting and sadness, to be alone with ourselves, and envy will be the engine of growth and development. We don’t need to change ourselves, but we can develop our emotional intelligence, study, meet new people, learn something new, become better and stronger in any field of activity, understand your feelings and emotions, improve physically, take care of your health, raise children and pass on your experience to them, do what brings joy and pleasure - this is about growth and development.