As you know, violence in any relationship between people can be extremely diverse - physical, economic, sexual and psychological. Let us dwell in more detail on psychological violence, because quite often people are faced with such an attitude on the part of their partner that they are subsequently forced to seek the help of a specialist in order to again start feeling happy. The most common manifestations of psychological violence in the family are: - withholding - gaslighting - double messages - neglect - devaluation - passive aggression. Let's understand the terminology. Withholding is one of the methods of manipulation in which a person tries to avoid discussing important topics or direct conversation about the problem, openly ignoring the interlocutor. Example: - Your mother called me again today and said offensive things... Help me with this situation? - I can’t hear the series because of you, don’t interfere. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse, when in which the manipulator denies the facts that happened, trying to make the victim doubt his own memories, his own adequacy. The perception of reality by the victim of violence changes. Example: - You flirted with my colleague, it was very unpleasant to see, why are you doing this to me? - It seemed to you that you have too wild a fantasy. Or - You promised to spend more time with me, but again she preferred a walk with her friends to me. -I never said that at all, there is no need for wishful thinking! Double messaging is a type of psychological violence in which a person receives conflicting signals. And an attempt to deal with the contradiction and clarify what the interlocutor means leads to conflict or punishment. Example: a wife says to her husband in the evening “Of course you can go to the bar with your friends, I don’t mind!”, and in the morning after this event she simply says doesn’t talk to him or explain what’s going on. And this is repeated systematically. Neglect is a type of psychological violence in which the needs of one of the participants in the relationship are systematically ignored. Example: a couple goes for a late country walk with friends. During the evening, the girl realizes that she has a cold and her temperature rises. She says to her partner: “Let’s go home, I feel very bad, I have a fever, and it’s very cold here, I’m afraid it will get worse if I don’t go home now.” But they go home only 2 hours after the girl’s request, when the guy has chatted with friends and already wants to sleep. Devaluation is the words and actions of another person that belittle your emotions, personal qualities, achievements, values. Example: - I passed an interview , they hire me from the 1st! - If only they wouldn’t hire you, where else will they find people willing to work in this shambles. Passive aggression is a type of psychological violence in which a person cannot directly express anger, dissatisfaction with the situation and finds workarounds for this ways.Example: a husband and wife must go in the evening for the birthday of the husband's mother. The wife doesn’t like her mother-in-law, and I don’t want to congratulate her at all. She is angry at her husband because she will have to go to the party with him. Instead of talking directly with her husband about this, she deliberately leisurely drives home from work 1.5 hours late, and then spends another 40 minutes choosing her outfit. They are late for the main part of the holiday, the husband is upset because he upset his mother, and still does not understand why his wife behaved so strangely. It is important to understand that any psychological violence does not pass without a trace. If you notice such unfavorable signals in your relationship, you should try to talk directly about your feelings and thoughts with your partner. If the situation does not improve and you feel worse and worse because of this, seek advice from a specialist. Dilyara Abzalova is a clinical psychologist, art therapist, and practicing neurologist. To sign up for a consultation, write to What'sApp: +79178889216