I continue the column based on the game “Master of Communication”. There is such a difficult topic - RECONCILIATION. In particular, reconciliation with loved ones, parents (unfortunately, it is often from them that we experience the most painful pain and sadness). Many people are familiar with the thesis “We all come from childhood.” Indeed, we carry within ourselves the imprint of childhood experience throughout our lives. In particular, the experience of conditioning parental love and love. Remember, from Korney Chukovsky: “Now I love you, Now I praise you! Finally, you dirty little thing has pleased Moidodyr!” So, from a young age we learn a lesson - in order for our parents to love and praise us, we must please them. Meet their expectations. Carry out requirements. What if their demands do not cause agreement in the child’s soul? Then he either submits to the authority of the parent, tries to earn approval, losing himself for the sake of the desired love. Or he selflessly goes into protest, “draining” life energy and his future in attempts to prove the unprovable. And it doesn’t matter what strategy the child chooses: to deserve or to oppose - as long as there is no agreement in the soul with the parents as they are, the person does not accept them. He does not accept his experience, which came to him through his parents and thanks to them. argues with his fate and life. And while he does this, he does not live. Instead, like a turtle, it carries the weight of long-standing experiences over the years, multiplying its problems. But one day a moment of “enlightenment” comes for a person, when he understands that no matter what his entrance into the problem zone is, the way out of it is the same for everyone - through forgiveness. And the person embarks on appropriate spiritual exercises. Often - unsuccessfully. Why? I think the problem here is that we confuse the means with the end, believing that forgiveness is a means to solve our problems. Then his sacred action simply turns into action - we select the appropriate technique and perform it. But this is a wrong strategy. Because forgiveness is not a choice of the Mind for the sake of complacency. Not a tool for exalting the Ego (“You are like foolish children, and I am above this, I forgive you”). As practice proves, forgiveness cannot be achieved either from oneself or for oneself. It comes on its own along with Gratitude for the experience. Then I begin to see in my parents not only my mom and dad, but also their Personalities. Then I leave them their choices and decisions, their experiences and fate. Then I stop craving their love, recognition and stop trying to rewrite the past. Then I open a place in my heart for the Gifts (everything that came from them and through them, for my personal experience). This is not about a priori agreement with the actions of the parents, but agreement with the right of Another Person to make their own decisions, even what seems to us erroneous and incorrect. This is about agreeing with life as we received it from our parents. This is a refusal to judge for what they could not give. Then from agreement, through Gratitude, comes acceptance. It is also forgiveness. And it is also goodbye. And this is the most important moment when forgiveness becomes goodbye! For we cannot say goodbye to the past without accepting it! Accordingly, the essence of forgiveness is its naturalness. It comes as a result, a natural consequence of acceptance. And real acceptance is not doing spiritual practice, not forcing, it is living. And the past ends, and we say goodbye, close one page. Opening a new one. In which I am born for my life, my desires and my destiny. I live my life fulfillingly and fruitfully. Not in spite of, but thanks to... Good Giving and Good Receiving.