While studying psychological counseling, I learned that the question “Why?” is one of the questions that can cause resistance from the client, provokes his regression into a childish state in the minus (since it causes associations with situations “Why didn’t you do your homework, broke a cup, didn’t wash the dishes, etc.”), as a result of which the psychological contact between client and consultant. Therefore, it is better for a specialist to replace this question with questions that encourage research without accusation: “For what reason do you think? What do you think was the reason?” etc. And even then I remembered the common opinion that when something happens to us, we don’t need to think about why it’s happening, it’s much better to think about why it’s happening. And my inquisitive mind prompted me to an in-depth study of this phenomenon. I wondered why we are advised to avoid asking “Why?” even in everyday life? And why is this “Why?” so hinders our development? And this is what I came to: 1) Yes, indeed, the question “Why?” - this is a regressive question, it takes us back to the not very pleasant moments of our childhood, when we were accused and we were forced to defend ourselves. This means that when we ask it to ourselves, the mechanism for searching for a cause-and-effect relationship turns off automatically, giving way to a defense mechanism. 2) Due to the fact that we were forced to defend ourselves, we have developed a certain mechanism for automatic reaction to the question “Why?” - we immediately try to find the culprit, because only this allowed us to survive in childhood. That is, the question “Why?” does not imply personal responsibility, but includes in us a trained mechanism for shifting this responsibility onto someone or something. This means that this question is more like the question “Who is to blame?”3) Thus, the question “Why?” aimed at finding the culprit, and therefore looking into the past (Why did this happen, what happened, why did he do that? Etc.)! It is not directed to the future, it shifts the focus of our attention to a reason that lies in the past! And we completely focus on what we can no longer change - on our past, actively searching for the reason WHY we are so unlucky? 4) Everyone knows the fact: where attention goes, energy comes! Therefore, the longer we are busy searching for an answer to the question “Why?”, the more of our vital energy we give to our past, which does not affect our future in any way (the fact of what has happened is already obvious), and even more so, does not improve our future (since We are completely busy answering the question “Who is to blame?” instead of answering the question “What to do?”). And so we move along the line of life facing backwards, with our fifth point forward, and then we wonder WHY is it all happening for us through that same fifth point?! 5) And what question turns us to face forward, directed to the future, to search for options resolution of the situation? Absolutely right! This is the question “Why?” It is this question that is directly related to the meaning: “Why do I need this - what is the meaning of this for me?”6) There is no regressive toxicity in it, but there is a search for personal meaning and expediency of what is happening. This means that the mechanism for searching for cause-and-effect relationships is actively working! But this mechanism works from the “here and now” state, since regression to the past does not occur. 7) It is this mechanism that triggers the decision-making mechanism! "Why do I need it? I need this so that...! If this is not what I need, then how can I achieve what I need!”8) It is this question that calls for a responsible position, since it is called upon to draw up a plan for “What to do?”9) And since it leaves us in the state of “here and now ”, and our attention is focused on what is now and what we can do in the future, then we have the opportunity to devote our life energy to our present and future! Thus, it contributes to the fact that we are present in our lives now and follow the line