Nowadays the issues of protecting personal boundaries and countering manipulation are often discussed, but the main point is so little discussed: how can I learn to respect others myself? The first thing to start with is to allow others be yourself. At least in part. Give up constant attempts to change a loved one and “improve” him from the position: “I’m trying for your sake...” Remember that it is very difficult to change even yourself, and it is impossible to change another person without his desire. But you there is a tool of influence. You can talk about your feelings and needs. Learn to negotiate. If you have conflicts and difficulties in communication, try to look for the reason not only in a loved one. Honestly ask yourself the questions: - Why is it beneficial for me to maintain exactly such a relationship between us? What do I get from this? -What would I like instead? - What first steps can I take in this direction? If you are irritated by some specific character traits in a loved one, then you should think: - In what situations do I behave the same way? For example, if my mother controls me, even though I am already an adult, then where do I do the same in my relationship with my husband or children? - What personality traits of another person that irritate me do I forbid myself to show? If my sister makes me angry, bragging about her next trip, then how long ago did I allow myself to relax and spend money on myself? Learn to accept yourself with all your mistakes and weaknesses, because respect for others begins with respect for yourself. If I know that I am human and prone to making mistakes, then I will be more willing to allow my loved ones to show up. If I am correct and categorical, then I will demand impossible tasks from others. Analyze the realism of your desires and requests from life. This is very important. If you married a calm homebody man who worked in a stable position, then you don’t need to put pressure on him and demand that he become a businessman. He may not even have such desires and ambitions in principle. And you waste your energy and destroy relationships trying to get the fish to talk. Thus, if you analyze all the listed ways to improve relationships with loved ones, you will notice one feature: you need to start respecting another with a deep understanding and analysis of yourself. Then most of the misunderstandings can be resolved within you, without leading to another conflict with a loved one.