From: James 4 Unbelievers, don’t you know that loving the world is the same as being at enmity with God? He who wants to be in friendship with the vain world becomes an enemy of God. How often can you get married? How easy is it to “change” a spouse? When your spouse does not live up to your vision, what is the first thing you do: go to the pastor and ask: “Heal him/her for me”? Many are sure that the whole problem is in the opposite partner - you need to change him, and everything will immediately become fine. Is it so? Can a believer file for divorce? And what should those who are already divorced do? The debate about whether the Bible allows divorce and remarriage largely revolves around the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase "except for the guilt of adultery" is the only place in Scripture where permission for divorce and remarriage is likely to be given. But this is measured by human standards. Jesus looked at all this through the eyes of the Father. And the Father is Love. Love forgives many sins. God's plan and will in marriage is constant and nothing can change it, no matter what happens. We cannot ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ allows divorce on the grounds of fornication, but it is important to emphasize that God said that the two will be one flesh - hence the conclusion that there are no reasons for divorce at all. Let us consider from the old testament (Malachi 2:16) : “If you hate her, let her go, says the Lord God of Israel; offense will cover his garment, says the Lord of hosts; Therefore take heed to your spirit and do not act treacherously.” Yes, divorce was allowed at that time, BUT why? Why Moses Allowed Divorce Deuteronomy 24:1-4 “If a man marries and then finds out a secret about this woman that he does not like, and if he is dissatisfied with his wife, he should write a letter of divorce, give it to her, and send her away from his home.” The husband was required to write a letter of divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1ff; Jeremiah 3:8ff; etc.). This certificate of divorce had to be in writing and clearly state the matter. It protected a woman from simple murder, and this is an even more serious sin. The divorce letter had legal force. Perhaps it was signed by witnesses. This letter protected the divorced woman from false accusations and prevented strangers from misinterpreting the divorce. The marital status of the woman who received the divorce letter was clearly defined - “unmarried.” It took time to compose the letter. The written form was a guarantee of the thoughtfulness of the divorce decision. In conditions where literacy was the lot of a few people, the requirement of writing was a serious obstacle to divorce, which required some effort to overcome. It was necessary to hire a competent person who could outline the motives and conditions of the divorce. The divorce letter must accurately identify the identities of the spouses, their origin, the time and place of marriage. All this was said by people, the Lord also speaks about the plan and will of God regarding marriage - “what God combined, man did not separates." That is why a person needs to accept a new heart that will allow him to carry out God's plan and His will. Moses did not command divorce, but only allowed the innocent party to be protected from punishment - a person who did not commit the sin of adultery and who was not guilty. The Lord Jesus Christ shows us the will of God and His ideal plan: what God has united, man should not separate (Genesis book). Of course, fornication breaks the seal of marriage, and then one becomes guilty and the other innocent. In this case, the Lord takes the side of the innocent (Mt. 19) - In Mark 10 and Luke 16, the Lord emphasizes, as an exception, divorce due to adultery. What meaning do we see in Mt 19:9? God's plan and will in marriage is constant and nothing can change it, no matter what happens. We cannot ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ allows divorce on the grounds of fornication, but it is important to emphasize that people should never be encouraged to commitdivorce, because a marriage must be indestructible throughout life. It is known that the penalty for sin is death, therefore, when fornication is committed, in a sense, death has already occurred. In the New Testament the Law allows for divorce in the case of fornication, but the penalty for fornication is death. What is sometimes overlooked in discussions of “exceptional conditions” is the fact that, regardless of the meaning of the term “adultery,” divorce is permitted but not required. Even after committing infidelity, with God's grace a couple can be empowered to forgive and begin to rebuild their family. God forgives us much more, so we should follow His example and forgive even the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). However, in many cases, the husband/wife does not repent and continues their immoral sexual behavior. In such a situation, the text from the Gospel of Matthew 19:9 can be applied. “Matthew 19:9 But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” We saw that this permission for divorce was given because of the “heart of stone” and to protect the innocent, so that this innocent person would not be accused by his partner before the world of being guilty, as if he were. And a heart of stone means that a person does not want to ask the Lord for love. - We find another reason for divorce in 1 Cor. 7 - when an unbeliever does not want to remain married to a believer and leaves. These two reasons allow divorce. Why does God insist that people live together, although it is so difficult for them to live together? The Word shows us that the trials that befall us in marriage are given to us by the Lord for our perfection in His image and likeness, so that we gradually accept the image of Jesus Christ. Since our marriage partner is the only one who has the greatest influence on us, marriage is the basis for perfection. In the New Testament there is, of course, 1 Corinthians 7:8 “As for those who are unmarried and widowed, I say, “It is better for them if they remain single, as I am.” And again, here man spoke, out of his weakness, and God said Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.” What does 1 Cor. teach us? 7:12-16? A believer should not divorce an unbeliever, and should not take the initiative to break off the relationship because of the partner’s unworthy behavior. The believer must understand that God loves the unbeliever (and indeed any person) and wants to save him through the worthy behavior of the believer (1 Peter 3). In v. 14. it says that the unbeliever is illuminated by the believer. This does not mean that he is saved by the behavior of the believer, but that the believer has a holy influence over him. Their children are holy, and this means that they are chosen to live in holiness, and this is possible only through the right behavior of the believer. So, the salvation of the family depends on the believer. If the unbeliever insists on divorce, he can do it, because it is not only up to the believer It depends on how to bring another to the knowledge of the salvation of the soul. The unbeliever must be willing to do it himself. In this case, the believer is not related to the unbeliever. This text also makes it clear that a believer can remarry if an unbeliever leaves him. BUT if he is the initiator of the divorce, then according to the scripture he cannot remarry. There are even psychological reasons for this. Because in his first marriage he did not seek love, did not ask the Lord for patience and is not ready to build a relationship, then such an unhealed person will carry into his second marriage the same baggage of problems that he cultivated in his first marriage. There are, of course, exceptions when the Lord leads this person to repentance. Marriage of Christians with pagans. In this matter, Paul cannot rely on the special commandment of Christ, and therefore he must decide it himself. It is believed that this issue arose because there were people in the Corinthian church who believed that a Christian could not live with a pagan, and that if one of the spouses was baptized and became a Christian and the other remained a pagan, they should be immediately divorced. And indeed, one ofThe most common complaint of pagans in relation to Christianity was precisely that Christianity destroys families and has a destructive effect on society. “The corruption of domestic relations” is one of the first accusations against Christians (1 Pet. 4:15). Sometimes Christians did set very high standards. "Who are your parents?" - asked the judge Lucian of Antioch. “I am a Christian,” replied Lucian, “and the only relatives of a Christian are saints.” Mixed marriages undoubtedly caused various difficulties. Tertullian wrote a book about them, in which he described a pagan husband angry with his wife because “for the sake of visiting her brothers, she walked around the city, from street to street, visiting the houses of other men, especially the poor... He does not want to let her disappear whole nights at night meetings and Easter festivities... and will not tolerate her sneaking into prison to kiss the chains of a martyr or even to exchange a kiss with one of the brothers." (In the era of early Christianity, Christians greeted each other with a holy kiss.) Indeed, it is not difficult to sympathize with a pagan husband. Paul deals with this problem in a spirit of practical wisdom. He knew these difficulties and did not want to make the situation worse. Therefore, he declares that if both spouses can lead a married life together, then their desire should be promoted by all means, but if they decide to separate and find life together intolerable, then let them divorce, because a Christian should never be a slave. Paul makes two points that are of lasting value today. 1) He expresses the blessed thought that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse. After all, they both became one flesh, and the miracle is that in this case it is not the vice of paganism that wins, but the mercy of Christianity. Christianity ennobles everything that comes into contact with it; and a child born into the home of a Christian, even if only one of the spouses is a Christian, is born into the family of Christ. In the marriage of a pagan and a Christian, what matters is not that the believer enters into the environment of the domination of sin, but that the unbelieving pagan comes into contact with the aura of mercy. 2) He cherishes another equally blessed thought that such a union can serve as a path to the salvation of an unbelieving spouse. For Paul, preaching the gospel begins in the family. The unbelieving heathen should not be looked upon as something unclean to be shunned, but as another son or daughter to be brought to Christ. Paul knew the holy truth that love for a person often leads to the path of love for God. When it comes to marriage between believers, read the commandment of Jesus Christ given through Paul in 1 Cor. 7:10-11? “But to those who are married, I command this (although it is not I who says this, but the Lord): a wife should not should strive to divorce her husband, but if she divorces, she should remain unmarried, or be reconciled with her husband, but a husband should not divorce his wife.” Because she or he is sealed before God to that person once and for all. The Lord commands not to leave his wife. Everyone is equal before the Word, and the Word speaks the same to everyone. The Lord says in John 7:17: “Whoever wants to do His will will know about this teaching, whether it is from God, or whether I speak from myself.” So, it depends on us whether or not we want to understand the Word and will of the Lord Jesus Christ. How is this possible? We should not rely on our own wisdom, but let God lead us to the truth. What does the Lord teach us according to Matthew 19:1-27? What does it mean to “join your wife”? What does it mean to “join”? - The Lord, before giving the Pharisees an answer to their question, showed them the original plan of God. - The word “adjoin” means to stick, to strengthen the two halves so that they cannot come apart until it breaks. - To connect - a word that indicates God's plan for spouses so that man does not separate what He has joined together, because the spouses have become one flesh. Verb“to stick” in the original language means “to assimilate,” “to become like,” and even “to be absorbed.” The expression one flesh symbolizes the sacrament of the closest physical, mental and spiritual unity of spouses. How do two halves form a “single whole”? Love! What does fornication do? The next line, Orthodox authors suggest a striking example. Take some tape, stick it to something and tear it off. Then the second, third time - it sticks weaker. The fourth time it almost doesn’t stick, and the fifth time even more so. Everyone knows that the adhesive ability of adhesive tape decreases with each use. This is the essence of fornication, the loss of the ability to “cleave to the heart.” Love given by God is like a golden cup with a priceless drink, without which it is impossible to become a Man with a capital M. Carelessly treating the cup, everyday life seems to swing it from side to side and little by little all the ability to love spills out. To whom does Paul compare the man and woman in Ephesians 5? - In Ephesians 5, as in other books, Paul compares the union of two in marriage with the unity of Jesus Christ and His Church. - When spouses divorce, they show by this that unity Jesus Christ and His Church can also be broken. - Just as there is no break between Jesus Christ and His Church, so there should be no break between spouses. - It was God's intention from the very beginning that any marriage (whether it be among believers) or among unbelievers) must be for life. How to understand the Lord’s words “except for the cause of fornication”? To what extent can the "cause of fornication" in a marriage go to ask for a divorce? I do not want to enslave anyone, but I want to fulfill the Word of the Lord and convey His plan and will, the truths about marriage, fidelity, divorce and remarriage left to us in Scripture . If someone thinks that there is a reason for divorce, then he should make a decision based not on personal beliefs or the opinions of others, but be sure with all his heart that what he is doing is under the blessing of God. What does God think about infidelity in marriage? Eze. 16: 1) about the love of God for His people Israel - We read that the Lord found Israel from the very birth, that He cared for the people from the very beginning, and in verse 8 it says that at a certain time He entered with them into a covenant.- Any marriage is based on a covenant made between the spouses. After entering into a covenant with His people, God behaved like a husband - clothed and cared for the people. - In verses 15-22 we read that Israel did not respond with faithfulness, but committed adultery, following others, although she was bound by a covenant with God. - Israel was unfaithful not once, but many times. 2) How did God respond to Israel's behavior? How does God feel towards His people when they, being in covenant with God, sin? - In Ezekiel 16:27 God reduced the contents that He assigned to Israel. - Ezekiel 16:38 - He will judge the people. - Ezekiel 16 :40 - they will call the people to a meeting and stone them - Ezek.16:41 - they will burn their houses with fire. - Ezek.16:26 - God is angry. - Ezek.16:42 - He is angry, indignant, because He is very takes seriously the covenant he has made with his people. What does God do in Ezekiel 16:53-63 after punishment? - God does not forget His people and, although he broke the Old Covenant with them, he makes a New Covenant, eternal. The message in Ezekiel 16 is that God does not forget the covenant, brings the people to the original stage in their relationship, forgives iniquities and the past. According to Jeremiah 3 - what defiles the state? - Then, when a husband divorces his wife, she leaves, marries another and then leaves him and returns to her first husband. On what conditions does God accept His people back (Jer. 3.12-19)? - The Lord demands that she admit her mistakes, her infidelity. - God is ready to forgive and accept back the one who was very oftenunfaithful, but repented. Why does God ask Hosea to take a harlot as his wife? What did God complain about in chapter 2? Who cared for Israel even when they were unfaithful? - Because the people sinned against the covenant with God, He used Hosea and his marriage to Gomer, who is a type of Israel. - In Hos. 2:8 we read that God cared for Israel, not her lovers. 1) What did God do when Israel goes after the lovers to prevent them from meeting? How to apply what God has done today? - God blocked the path with thorns and surrounded it with a fence so that it would not find its paths. - Today we can pray to God that He will put a protective fence around those whom we love, but who have wandered away from Him, so that they would return to Him again. 2) God’s attitude towards the people of Israel after the people returned to Him? - In Hos. 2:14-23 we read that God speaks politely so that it would be pleasing to the heart. - God plucked the name of Baal from mouth of His people. - God makes a new covenant with His people and betroths Himself to His people in faithfulness. - God forgives and accepts those who were unfaithful but repented. 3) How will you apply what you learned from Matthew 19? - If you are a victim of another's betrayal, you must do everything in your power to forgive, forget and bring back the unbeliever. - Matthew 19:4 becomes more understandable after the rest of the texts from the First Testament and New Testament are gone through. Covenant, after seeing and understanding God's plan, His will and His attitude towards marriage, attitude towards those who broke the covenant, and towards those who remained faithful to the covenant. Perhaps someone who has taken this lesson will ask themselves question: “okay, but what should I do, I’m forced to live my whole life unhappily, when I can get a divorce and live happily?” Question: what does true happiness depend on - on your communication with God or on the fact that you do what , what do you think would be better for you? The Lord tells you that He gave Himself for you and wants you to appear before the Father pure and sanctified. The wedding date has already been determined. His bride is getting ready (Rev. 19:7-8). Will she be faithful to Him until that day or not (James 4:4)? If we are His bride, then it depends on us whether we will be faithful to Him or not. Therefore, every time we want to do something not according to the will of the Lord, we ask ourselves who we love more, the Heavenly Bridegroom or the world, who do we want to listen to - ourselves, others or the Word of the Lord? Adulterers - in the modern translation it is translated as unbelievers. (James 4 Unfaithful, don’t you know that loving the vanity of the world is the same as being at enmity with God? Anyone who wants to be on friendly terms with the vanity of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think, that the Scripture says in vain: “The Spirit that He has instilled in us desires that we belong only to Him.” But He showed us even greater grace. That is why the Scripture says: “God is against the proud, but shows His grace to the lowly.” Therefore, commit yourself to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor wicked men, nor homosexuals (1 Corinthians 6). :9) Galatians 5: 13 But you, brothers, were called by God to live free. However, do not let freedom become a reason for you to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, serve one another in love. For the whole law boils down to this one statement: : “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you continue to harm each other and cause damage, then be careful that you do not completely destroy each other! But I say, let the Spirit show you how to behave, and then you will not give in to your sinful nature. For what our sinful nature desires is contrary to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is contrary to the sinful nature. These are two opposite things. And therefore, you cannot do what you would like. But as led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the law. Actions.