Soon to go to school. Worried mothers and, less often, fathers started chatting in class group chats. Uniforms, schedules, textbooks, stationery, bouquets for teachers, balloons for children. When the issues with the external attributes of school life are settled, one way or another, parents, left alone with their children, will begin to ask completely different questions - ones that are not so easy to talk about, for example, in the same chats. In the first months of autumn in therapy, parent clients especially often share: “I don’t know how to be with my child?” And despite the varying degrees of preparedness in matters of education, many of them really do not know how to Be, to exist with their children. Ask yourself how many books on pedagogy, educational psychology and child psychology you have read. For a whole month or two, you carefully monitored yourself to use “I-statements” in your relationship with your child. At the same time (what is there to train, so to train), your husband, mother, sister, brother, friend and everyone with whom you had to communicate at that time heard them, widening their eyes in surprise or simply looking at you suspiciously. At the same time, you practiced active listening. It seemed to you that this was the key: now you know how to communicate with people. But unbeknownst to himself, the new knowledge somehow faded away. And everything became the same. Or: you now know exactly all children’s age-related crises and at that moment when your three-year-old shouts out to you “I myself!” you answer: “Let me do it myself, we don’t have time.” And somewhere deep down you know that, most likely, you will not have time for most of the time spent with your child. But the crisis of three years, like any other, cannot be returned. This means that your child will not live through something important. And the point here, of course, is not that all knowledge obtained from books is useless. Quite the contrary, it is a storehouse of knowledge from many, many specialists and simply experienced people. But all this knowledge will not work if you do not change deeply and learn to understand yourself, your role in relationships with others. Don't try to squeeze your child's individuality into any newfangled or even time-tested theory. Don’t rely on books on pedagogy or educational psychology, trying to find the right recipe in them. None of this works if you remain the same. Changes in your relationship with your child, and in all relationships in general, are only possible when you begin to realize your own role in them. When you are not afraid to make a choice dozens of times a day: blindly follow what is written in books or feel what is good now for your child and you, scream or choose respectful treatment, etc. All this is possible when you understand what is happening in your inner world. If you feel that you are missing something to educate, start with yourself. One option is personal or group psychotherapy. Yes, this is not exactly what you expected when trying to figure out “what should I do with this child.” But at least it’s fair to start with yourself. In the meantime, how can you survive the period of adjustment to school after such a long summer break? · Support your children. Be on their side.· Love them. And let them know that you love them under any circumstances. · Try to understand how your child feels in a given situation when interacting with you. · Daily routine is important for a child of any age. Do not try to immediately and at the same time make an athlete, musician, dancer, polyglot, artist, actor, roboticist out of your child: balance the additional loads. · Choose the child between the child and the grade. For one girl, her parents' choice in favor of grades became a serious trauma. It was then that, as a child, she felt severe mental pain when her parents scolded her for low grades. At such moments, it was unbearable for her to think that she loved them, simply loved them, loved them in any way, and they only loved her when she got good grades. And then, as a little girl from