The desire for perfection, competition, a high level of achievement takes away a huge amount of a person’s strength. Research suggests that periodic stress, within the limits of a person’s capabilities, affects his resistance to stress in a positive way. But constant tension, anxiety and one’s own negative assessment can lead to psychological difficulties. Nervous exhaustion is the result that can be obtained if you do not balance your strengths and aspirations, and also if you set impossible tasks. Important come to the understanding that it is completely normal not to be perfect. It is completely natural to make mistakes, to feel tired, to be without resources, to refuse help and choose your interests, not to live up to someone’s expectations, even your own. Why can’t a person agree with what that you need to be more attentive and kind to yourself? Common beliefs are essentially appropriated parental messages: 1. Comparison with others. For example, “Why can Petya do it, but you can’t?” Such messages do not take into account all factors. A person sees only what is in the zone of his understanding. A mother can see that some children are easy at math, but her son is not. But she may not see his attraction to nature or animals, which may form the basis of his career guidance. 2. Fear of failure. A loss or mistake can remind of some negative event in life that there was no way to cope with, which a person does not tell anyone about, an incident where he did not have enough support from other people. Such events can create a fear of failure or failure, as if now, just like in the past, there will be no way to remain safe, resourceful and self-respecting. Messages such as “You can’t be entrusted with anything” or “It’s your own fault” create a fear of error and drag you into a funnel of trauma.3. Low self-esteem. Self-identification with available opportunities also comes from the family. The faith of parents in their child gives him freedom from restrictions. “A bird in the hand is better” or “They don’t take people like that to be cosmonauts” often does not reflect reality, but is only a framework of ideas about oneself. Despite the presence of limiting beliefs, fear and other constraining feelings, a person still has a desire to prove himself inside, their abilities, their interests, to realize their desires. “Desire lies at the origins of everything animate,” wrote Jacques Lacan. Man cannot help but desire. And only a thin line between true desire and neurotic (conflict) separates pleasure from anxiety caused by false idealistic attitudes. Telegram channel