Almost all people use double messages. What is this and why? An example of a double message. A friend tells me, “Why do you want to live with this girl?!” Have you already lived with her, have you checked how much housekeeping she does, whether she washes the dishes, and whether she cooks food?! What if you turn out to be too different, and she will constantly blow your mind?! An example of a direct message. If I translate my friend’s words from ordinary everyday life into the language of feelings, it will sound like this: “You know, I’m worried about you, that you are going to live with this lady, since I don’t trust her.” Double messages usually hide feelings behind a blockade words, ridicule, banter. And the feelings in this example are excitement and distrust. Why is it better to use direct messages? - They save time (compare the number of words in the example of a direct and double message); - They allow you to express your feelings, which makes you feel better; - They convey information to your interlocutor about your thoughts and feelings in a non-edifying form, which makes him less annoyed with you. - They create intimacy, since emotional contact brings people together. Your psychologist Dmitry Nabatov