This article opens a series of interesting materials on the study and transformation of the Life Scenario or your life script. Scripts rob people of their autonomy. The stronger your Script, the less control you have over your own life. And the stronger your helplessness. Are you still playing Rescue? Then I am coming to you! HELPLESS SCENARIO In a state of helplessness, a person cannot think, cannot express himself, cannot work or study, cannot enjoy life, cannot stop drinking or smoking, cannot get up in the morning, cannot go to bed in the evening , unable to cry or stop crying. In short, it is as if he is NOT able to control himself. This is how he is used to living. Some people feel helpless all the time, others feel helpless for periods. In psychiatry, this can be diagnosed in the form of panic attacks, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In psychology, this is a banal Scenario of Helplessness. If you look at what words the word “helplessness” consists of, it turns out that “the demon helps.” Well, everyone knows how he “helps”. In this article I will explain how the game of Rescue is played and how it teaches people to be helpless. I’ll show you who usually is the customer of helplessness. And how people play different roles in the course of this so common “game” in our society. THE SALVATION TRIANGLE Eric Berne showed that some games, which he called “Games of Life,” are more successful than others in turning into a person’s lifelong work. We are, of course, talking about psychological games, the price of which is the lost lives of the players. The three main roles in this game are Savior, Persecutor and Victim. From them you can make a triangle of Salvation. Position of the Victim: “I am bad, You are good” (I am helpless and hopeless, help me!). The position of the Savior complements the position of the Victim: “I am good, you are bad” (you are helpless and hopeless and yet I will try to help/save you). The position of the Persecutor coincides with the position of the Rescuer: “I am good, you are bad” (you are helpless and hopeless, and it is your fault). It is clear that the basic emotions of the Victim are fear and shame. Fear that no one will save you. Shame for your helplessness. The Savior is guilt and pride at the same time. Guilt for the Victim - you are so small and defenseless. Pride - I am strong and I will save you! The pursuer is filled with anger and disappointment at the same time! You cannot be saved! It's all your own fault! The roles in the Triangle of Salvation are interchangeable. The next rescue of the Victim usually fails, and the Savior turns into a Persecutor. Then everything is repeated in a circle, or rather in a triangle. THREE ROLES. Savior. The most inadequate idea in our society about the role of the Savior. Generosity, dedication, selflessness and even cooperation are strongly encouraged as part of this mythical image. Altruistic behavior is encouraged even with those people who deceive us, with those who behave selfishly and unfairly. Mothers and wives especially have a hard time understanding how insulting and unnecessary rescue can be. They have always been taught that refusal to play the role of Savior is disastrous for the Victim (in fact, it’s the other way around!). Rescue is considered NOT to be a harmful act (which it actually is!), but rather a manifestation of altruism, generosity and a desire to help. Wives of Alcoholics or mothers of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder often find it difficult to accept that their self-sacrifice, willingness to endure and forgive everything is NOT help their husbands and sons, but harm them. The reason for this state of affairs is that women are taught from childhood to the role of free labor, which is intended to alleviate the lot of men. The role of the Savior is psychologically beneficial. The role of the Savior “saves” the one who accepted it from the position of the Victim and creates in him a feeling of his own importance and strength (instead of the weakness and insignificance that the “savior” usually feels deep inside). Your importance can beincrease, and becoming a Pursuer, although this role is less encouraged in society. Pursuer. The role of the Persecutor inevitably comes after the roles of the Victim and the Savior have been played. Anyone who helps a person who does NOT want to help himself will sooner or later become angry with the Victim. Whenever a person is in the position of a Victim, he is well aware of his humiliation position, and the fact that the Savior holds him in this position, preventing any independent actions on the part of the Victim. Therefore, any Victim, while he was saved by his playing partner, will also sooner or later get angry. This means that we can confidently predict that any communication Savior - Victim will necessarily turn into communication Persecutor - Victim. Victim. There are real victims and Victims. A real victim may find himself in a burning building and be saved by a real rescuer - a fireman. This is sacrifice with a small S. We consider the role with a capital “R” – Victims. No one likes to be weak and helpless, but sometimes it's nice to relax and let others take care of you. The main difference between a savior and a Savior is that the savior expects a successful outcome of his actions, and the Savior - an unsuccessful one (and his expectations are usually justified ). In addition, victims thank their saviors, and Victims Persecute. CASE FROM PRACTICE. One of my Clients, as a child, learned the role of a helpless Victim when his mother went on night duty and left him alone with his younger brother. The client did not sleep, was anxious and afraid, and sometimes experienced real attacks of horror. The client continued to be afraid, but never told his mother about his feelings. He developed the life position “I am bad and helpless. I am unable to cope with myself and my feelings.” Further, this position of the Victim was confirmed first in the pioneer camp, when, in a situation of conflict, the Client “again” could not cope with himself and his relatives took him away. Then he was “saved” several more times by his parents, mainly his mother, during his studies and practical training. Low self-esteem, lack of will and lack of faith in one’s own strength have developed. After a series of stresses (illness of a child and wife, moving to a new apartment, a new job), childhood fears worsened and the Client began to experience horror and his own powerlessness in ordinary everyday situations. The result is obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, panic attacks. 3 packs of cigarettes a day (my mother did not allow me to quit smoking - this is extremely stressful). When He came to me for the first time, he looked (and was) a completely healthy and strong person. However, he did not follow the recommendations - he tried to recruit me to the role of the Rescuer. It was especially interesting when the Client called. If I listened to his complaints and groans (playing the role of the Savior), he was ready to talk for hours. As soon as I began to appeal to the Adult (strong) principle of the Client, for example, I asked about what he could do HIMSELF in his situation, or what exercises he did today (mostly none), the call was somehow miraculously interrupted. It is clear that The more he allowed his mother to save himself, the more complex and profound his condition became. His mother, a doctor by profession (the choice of occupation was not accidental, oh, not accidental!) gladly accepted the role of the Rescuer. She left her job (oh what self-sacrifice!), her husband, her elderly parents and came to help her “poor son.” A series of attempts to save his son – an adult man, the father of a 3-year-old child – led to a sharp deterioration in the Client’s condition. Renowned psychiatrists and neurologists were raided, prayers and conspiracies were tried, bioresonance therapy was tried, and brain imaging was taken. The client was first freed from housework and caring for his own son and wife (he suffers so much, poor fellow!). Then from work (and my mother did everything - she came up with a legend, made a “false certificate”, talked to her boss). Nothing helped. When it was not possible to save her son again, the mother left the role of Savior (literally lost her temper),?