In psychology and psychotherapy there are concepts of healthy and destructive family. It is clear that a healthy family is good for all its members, but a destructive family is destructive for each family member. But what are the signs to understand what kind of family you have and what specific features of your family require work if there are problems in your family? Healthy family.parents: 1. Mentally healthy2. Without depression and extreme views3. No dependencies4. Confident people cope with life’s challenges, including difficulties5. With adequate self-esteem.6. With healthy psychological boundaries. Healthy psychological boundaries for both each family member and the family as a whole.7. At home, manifestations of any feelings and emotions are welcome. Emotions and feelings are alive and open.8. The family lives according to its own goals and plans, and adults do not try, at any cost, to earn the appreciation of others; family members are focused on solving their problems and development. Destructive (Dependent/Codependent) family: 1. Parents are anxious, unbalanced2. Often with depression or uncontrollable anger3. Toxic Mom: overprotectiveness and total control, but in fact an unemotional attitude and lack of tactility4. Parents (and subsequently children) have one or more addictions (alcohol, drug addiction, workaholism, gambling addiction, sexaholism, overvalued ideas, computer addiction, smoking, etc.)5. Parents (especially mothers) Perceive children as parents, talk about problems in relationships, ask for help in difficult situations, manipulate, leak negativity.6. With low self-esteem, regularly demonstrated to be inflated7. Parents do not feel the psychological and physical boundaries of the child, as well as their own8. It is forbidden to show feelings at home, a ban on any individual manifestations (you can’t be happy - this leads to suffering, you can’t get angry - good people don’t behave like that, you can’t cry - weaklings cry9. Creating the appearance of a happy and prosperous family in front of others10. Family boundaries are either too blurred (living several generations in one house, and consider themselves one family) or reinforced concrete (even guests are not allowed to wash dirty linen in public). As you can see, there are many differences and each of them requires serious work from each family member. If suddenly your family is destructive and you this doesn’t suit you - start with yourself! After all, each of you was created for happiness and development of your full potential in this world. first lesson