From the author: Published in the magazine "Wheel of Life" dated 08.2010. How to see the true in your mirror? Each of us builds our lives around the satisfaction of three basic, basic needs: the need for security , need for acceptance by others, need for achievement. The need for security is one of the basic needs of a person, which manifests itself in a feeling of security, stability, and the desire to have “your own” space in which you can be authentic and present. Acceptance by others is the basis for the desire to unite with people, to belong to a group (be it a family or professional group), and it is also the basis for the creation and development of pair relationships. The desire for achievement is the motive of our social life, our activity, and, of course, building a career. If we try to analyze our life, we will most likely notice that all our actions “revolve” around one of these basic needs. It is on the basis of satisfaction or dissatisfaction with our basic basic need that we determine the degree of our “success” (in this case, success is synonymous with “satisfaction”, “satisfaction with oneself”). For example, you are focused on your career, put it above other values, sacrifice for your career growth for everyone (or almost everyone) - then, obviously, you are focused on satisfying the need for achievement. Of course, you can love children very much and honor family values, but if you are honest with yourself, then achievements are your “balm for wounds,” and conquering the next peak satisfies you much more and sincerely pleases you than anything else. or another. We proceed from satisfaction or dissatisfaction (or, as psychologists say, “frustration”) of our basic needs, answering the question: “Am I happy?” , “Am I happy with my life today?” Moreover, it is our basic need that largely determines your character, dictates your actions and, let me tell you, very significantly influences your way and meaning of life. Let's do a little test to learn more about this topic. Answer “yes” or “no” to the following statements. Which one more objectively, truthfully describes your life today (focus on the moment “here and now”)? Life for me is an exciting race for success. The main thing for me is other people and my relationships with them. I am more satisfied with life only when I feel calm and I would not trade personal comfort for anything. If you, answering questions in search of your “main theme of life”, have chosen the optimal answer for yourself, you have found the answer to the question of the article: the satisfaction of this particular need will bring you maximum happiness and joy, it will be “true”, yours. But think about the price that in some cases you pay to have this particular need satisfied. For example, a constant focus on satisfying the need for security, avoiding anxiety and discomfort can lead to an increased feeling of loneliness and isolation, which is unlikely to have a good effect on your relationships with other people, and certainly not on your career achievements. Or a young woman’s focus on achieving the highest heights of the career ladder in the modern world is even commendable, but as soon as such a woman stops and looks into the mirror, she may find in it the reflection of a lonely woman who avoids close relationships, or one who does not live by her goals and ambitions, but what “significant others” (for example, parents) would like to see her as. Also, a significantly destructive deviation towards satisfying the need for acceptance by others will be the behavior of a woman who suffers domestic violence or her husband’s alcohol addiction, her willingness to endure beyond measure, to dissolve in the needs of a “significant other” and thus maintain a relationship, thereby satisfying her basic need for acceptance. If it’s difficult for you.