From time to time I come across the message that guilt is a completely negative phenomenon, something that must be abandoned at any cost, which interferes with development and a full-fledged healthy existence. Psychologists on their pages on social networks urge people to get rid of guilt. I beg to differ with this approach. Firstly, everything that arises in our psyche has the right to exist and does not appear there by chance. Any feeling, any emotion has its own function, its own role. She appears for something, signals about something. So that we realize, understand, do something. Emotions help us navigate the world around us and serve as an indicator of good or bad health. And wine is no exception. Wine as a guide or bridge to one's true values ​​Why do we need wine? It would seem, what’s good and what’s even more useful about it? Heavy unpleasant feeling. But thanks to him, we can realize that we did something wrong, wrong... We broke some of our rules, stepped over some of our values. Guilt allows us to follow our beliefs; its appearance signals that we have taken a wrong turn somewhere, have deviated from them. That is, it serves as a kind of guide. But the most important task of guilt is to give us the OPPORTUNITY to CORRECT our mistake, to return and go in the right direction, to apologize, to somehow compensate for the damage caused. As soon as we somehow correct what we did, the guilt disappears. She has worked, fulfilled her role and leaves. The criterion for how adequate our corrective actions are to the situation is the disappearance of the feeling of guilt as a result. Moreover, guilt in this case acts as something that maintains contact with that inner “I” of ours, which knows how to act correctly in a given situation. It serves as a kind of bridge to our true values ​​and beliefs. Neurotic guilt Here we need to make a reservation that all this mainly concerns genuine or real guilt, when we REALLY violated some of our norms. There is also neurotic guilt. It arises from the fear of not meeting expectations, not fulfilling obligations (to parents, children, colleagues). For example, when we feel guilty in a situation that does not depend on us at all. For example, we blame ourselves for the death of a loved one who died of cancer. We blame that we did not insist on visiting the doctor in time, did not find the right doctor, etc. This is a clear example of neurotic guilt. There are much less obvious examples in life when neurotic guilt can arise. For example, a mother may blame herself for weaning too early because she urgently needed surgery and then sees the baby sucking his fingers. And she believes that it is her fault, but if you think about it, it becomes obvious that little depended on her in that situation, she could not change the situation, so most likely here we are talking about neurotic guilt. About how you can help yourself in In the case of neurotic guilt, I will tell you why you can and should ask for forgiveness from children in the next article. Do you often feel guilty??