From our parents we received the greatest and most priceless gift - life. They fed and raised us, sparing neither strength nor love. And now that they are old and sick, it is our duty to cure and care for them! Leonardo da Vinci Do you want your parents to live happily ever after? To a ripe old age. And at the same time they were healthy and full of energy. I think few people will answer negatively. Even if an old conflict with them once led to resentment and a complete break in relations, you will most likely still prefer that they live and thrive. And the longer, the better. However, some people do not limit themselves to wishes for health, but take responsibility for it. These people quite seriously believe that their son's (daughter's) DUTY is to prolong the life of their parents. To make their existence comfortable and serene. Having noticed signs of aging of their mothers and fathers, such children reduce the priority of all other tasks and, with the obsessiveness of workaholics, become involved in the life of their ancestors. They begin to clean their apartment every day and prepare food for them. Bring money. Accompany you to the clinic. Wash and iron clothes. Instead of them, stand in queues to pay utility bills. Choose sanatoriums and buy theater tickets. In general, such children try to take over almost all the concerns of their fathers and mothers. As soon as a convenient opportunity arises, they persuade their parents to move in with them (So that they can take care of them almost continuously). A debt that (how they believe) they have something in front of the people who gave them life, sometimes makes them forget about their own families and children. What does such seemingly noble zeal lead to? In my opinion, it leads to the fact that parents stop relying on themselves. They, of course , can gratefully accept the care of their children. Be proud of her and rejoice that she managed to raise such wonderful sons and daughters. But at the same time, they almost certainly weaken, losing their shape (after all, everything that is not trained atrophies). And, as a result... they age faster. I have an assumption that: Active care for parents leads to the fact that they begin to pass away faster. And this is not surprising. If you do everything for a person, what else remains for him? Why live? This, of course, does not mean that all the difficulties of parents should be treated indifferently. Our aging mothers and fathers may indeed need help and support. But, it seems to me, there shouldn’t be a lot of it. And it shouldn’t be unsolicited. In addition, I have a fantasy that the best way to care for your parents and their quality of life is to make YOUR life better. Become an adult, stable and wealthy person. What could be more gratifying for a parent than to see what a good and successful person their child has become? If you focus on your own development (and the development of your family), you will have the opportunity to give back to your parents. PS I consider active and independently initiated care to be a disguised manifestation of aggression. PS If you are interested in my thoughts on the psychology of men, subscribe to me (by clicking on the button below) and to my telegram channel “Dmitry Trefilov’s Men’s House” - https://t.me/manrise_psy