One of the topics that I have long wanted to give a clearer form is the understanding and designation of those values ​​in therapeutic work for which clients pay money. It is difficult to feel a psychological service and evaluate its weight, so everyone determines its value in their own way. I will try here to highlight what determines the expertise of a consultant for me personally. What am I willing to pay a helping specialist for? And how is responsibility distributed between him and the client? Neutrality of the listener’s position In the process of studying the client’s history, the position of neutrality and objectivity of the specialist is important to me. This means that the one who helps me will not unite with me against someone or create an alliance with my “opponent” against myself. He will strive to study history as objectively as possible, without falling into dramatic triangles, without blaming or condemning any of the participants in the situation. Safety in expressing feelings, the ability to empathize Different people react differently to the same event. The strength of their emotions can vary widely: from mild irritation, anger, indignation to anger and uncontrollable rage. It is important for me to be unappreciated with my strength of experience in order to give it a safe way out and survive the unfinished situation of the past. Happiness is when you are understood. Correct and specific formulation of the request (desired changes) “When a person does not know which pier he is heading to, no wind will be favorable for him.” For me, these words of the Roman philosopher Seneca contain the whole meaning of the ability to set clear goals. It is important to formulate the desired changes in such a way that they fall under the control and influence of the client himself, and not of third parties. I classify a request that begins with the words “I want him to…” as unrealizable requests. Formulation of questions that help to get to know yourself and loved ones Nothing is more valuable for a client than what he came to on his own or with the help of leading questions. What is the question is the answer. Interesting and open questions lead to insights and insights. The final ideal product of joint activity for me is the client’s ability to interview himself in a difficult situation for him without the help of a specialist. Building a chain of cause-and-effect relationships of the situation Each situation has its roots, develops according to a certain plot and results in some consequences. The reasons can be at different levels - deep, more complex (from childhood, if you like) and simpler, situational ones. We influence the causes, eliminate them - the consequences disappear automatically. Analysis of speech and identification of key formulations As a person speaks, so he lives. The consultant is a “mirror” for the client and makes it possible to hear himself. Identification of available resources. Identifying barriers and limitations that prevent you from solving a problem on your own. The psychologist will highlight both your strengths and weaknesses that prevent you from independently achieving what you want. Next, I will list points that do not need interpretation. Distribution of responsibility for creating the situation between all its participants, and also between a psychologist and a client Finding extraordinary ways to solve a problem. Selection and offer of various tools Acquiring new habits and change management skills with the help of the tools offered by the specialist and repeated repetitions Acquiring the ability to complete what was started As you have noticed, at the beginning of cooperation at the stage of analyzing the causes of the situation, formulating what is desired and selecting tools for solving the problem, great responsibility lies with the specialist. The client himself is responsible for bringing what he wants to life. It follows from this that he needs to bring the started “excavations” to the end, to its final completion. The apotheosis of their cooperation may be the following opportunity: The opportunity to live through the stage of interdependence in a relationship with a psychologist and transfer