Read about the first stage on the path of healing and what obstacles there may be in the first part, Healing maternal trauma. Where is it important to start? Part 1What is really happening? The idea that any woman after the birth of a child automatically becomes loving is an illusion. There is no magic “switch” that triggers the maternal instinct. Therefore, some women (who have not worked through their own maternal trauma) are not able to create a secure attachment with with her child. Such a woman herself has not matured emotionally, therefore she cannot emotionally connect with her daughter or son. What powerful signals from society (stereotypes) does a person experiencing difficulties in a relationship with his mother receive? You are selfish and ungrateful if you are not happy with how your relationship is going communication. You have no right to speak badly about your mother - after all, she gave you life. You need to accept your parents - after all, this is a connection with your family, without her there will be neither money nor happiness. You must forgive your mother, otherwise you can bring trouble on yourself and illness. Loving a mother, no matter what, is a blessing and all mature people do this. And what emotional response does a person experience to this? May feel like a traitor because he criticizes his mother. Feels shame and guilt, because “all mothers love their children “He begins to doubt the justification of his own reactions: “maybe I’m too sensitive a person?” The small child inside him is afraid: “if we admit the truth, then I won’t have a mother anymore.” And what result of public denial does a person ultimately get? confused and alone, believing that there must be something wrong with him. Joins “anger groups.” They endlessly pour out anger at the mother figure, but there is no way out of the impasse. They avoid reality, retreating into rationalization: “there is no need to make harsh judgments - probably this was necessary for some reason,” etc. But self-soothing does not work. What real psychological mechanisms occur? All these signals are based on the denial of reality. They do not help a person truly heal maternal trauma. We cannot forgive someone through an effort of will, or “let go of grievances.” We can live our own true feelings are like all experiences, only in this case they pass, giving way to new experience. Have you lived through the first stage? Share your experience! Become aware of your life and become happier!💞Seek help from specialists if difficulties arise when working independently. Sign up for a psychological consultation or for the transformation game “Box of Opportunities”, “My Path”, “My Path of Love”, " Debt Pit", "Back to the Future" can be found by calling +7-982-482-64-79. You can choose a format convenient for you (in person or online). If you liked the article, put “Thank you”»