From the author: The topic is inspired by materials from demo consultations, so I put my thoughts on the topic into an article for ease of use in consultations. In my consultations, probably in 90% of cases , I definitely look at how filled a person is with Love, because almost everything in our lives depends on being filled with Love. I will say this - as a rule, people turn to psychologists who lack self-love and therefore problematic situations arise in their lives. And only a small part of the requests comes from people who know how to love themselves, and only need to adjust some developmental tasks in their lives. Very often, a lack of Love in a woman leads to an incorrect hierarchy of roles in the family. I would like to understand this topic in this article. For any woman, the role of “woman” is normally primary. Why? Yes, because when you came into this world, the first thing your mother heard was that you had a girl! There are several age periods in a woman’s life: girl, girl, woman, old woman. Each age period has its own archetypal roles, which reflect the leading zone of development at a particular age. The correct sequence of working out roles leads to high-quality use of them in the reality of your life. To become ready for the high-quality implementation of the role of “mother,” a woman must first learn to be a Friend – Amazon (girl), Bereginya – Witch (girl), Darineya – Geisha (woman). Only after working through these roles is a woman ready to get married and have children. The role of a mother is complete only when a woman knows how to be a woman for herself and the world, and knows how to be a wife for her husband. You can read about women’s roles here: 1 2 3 4 The Purpose of a Woman. What are the distortions and what do they result in? If a woman is “stuck” in working out the role of “girl”, then the first most important thing for her will be her own development in society - career growth, business, etc. All other roles will be fulfilled as free time is available, which, as a rule, is not available. Moreover, most often, family relationships will be built on competition between husband and wife within the framework of success in society. Men rarely like such competition, they either leave such a woman or give up and become “housewives”, which few women already like, such a man ceases to be interesting to a woman, and in the end, she leaves. The best option for such a relationship with such a woman is friendly, but not family. If a woman “hangs out” in the role of “girlfriend,” then she will rely on filling the space at home - cleaning, cooking, etc. She will be the perfect housewife... and that's it. She is not very interested in a career, although she can work with pleasure or out of necessity, but she has never learned to be a woman. In her understanding, a woman is one who knows how to keep the house in order, feed and wash on time. The roles of “woman”, “wife”, “mother” come after the role of “housewife”. If a woman relies on the role of “woman”, then the whole world narrows her down to a relationship with the opposite sex. She will in every possible way direct all her husband’s attention to their relationship; everyday life often turns out to be neglected. Exactly like children. Well, or he will build a love relationship in the status of “mistress”, surrender to a Man and kill the creator in him. If the role of “mother” is primary for a woman, I’ll start with the fact that the role of “mother” is the most masculine of the female roles; it simultaneously includes three male roles: “breadwinner”, “protector” and “scout”. A mother feeds her children, protects them and always looks for a safe place for them. Having made this role primary and main for herself, the woman, without noticing it herself, begins to compete with her husband in all his significant roles. Very often it survives outside the family. That is why there are so many divorces after the birth of a child in the family. After the birth of a child, a husband automatically becomes not needed, well, if only as an assistant in caring for the baby. “Hanging” in the role of “mother” also harms children. The task of parents is to raise healthy adults by example.