What is social anxiety? Social anxiety is when you feel nervous, tense, or uncomfortable in social situations because you worry that other people are judging you. Almost everyone has experienced social anxiety at one time or another. Life is littered with moments of shyness - from job interviews to first dates, we all get nervous around other people from time to time. But social anxiety becomes a problem when it is so frequent or intense that it interferes with important things in your life. You may not apply for your dream job because it requires an interview, or you may find it difficult to be around even family and friends because you're so worried about what they think of you. If social anxiety is stopping you from doing what you want, such as making new friends or going on dates, you are not alone. Social anxiety is one of the most common mental disorders. Recognizing whether you have social anxiety Although social anxiety is always associated with a fear of being judged negatively, the actual situations that trigger it can vary greatly from person to person. Many people with social anxiety feel nervous in most situations that involve interacting with or speaking in front of others. But some people only experience social anxiety in certain situations, such as speaking in front of others or hosting an event. For example, a person who is usually very outgoing and feels comfortable talking to strangers at parties may only experience social anxiety during presentations. In fact, public speaking is one of the most common causes of social anxiety. Common situations in which people experience social anxiety: Speaking in front of a group. Talking to strangers. Being the center of attention (for example, when you're hosting a dinner). Talking to authority figures. figures (like your boss). Answering the phone. Eating or drinking in front of others. Talking to someone you find attractive. Signs and symptoms of social anxiety. People often think that social anxiety is just a feeling. but it actually consists of four components: thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behavior. Most people can begin to recognize their social anxiety when they notice that nervousness is also accompanied by physical symptoms such as shaking and crying. When you worry, the four components interact and build on each other, causing a cycle of worry. For example, here's how your anxiety might manifest if you're nervous about a presentation at work: Thoughts: Often your anxiety starts with negative thoughts, such as “I'm going to screw up” or “people will think I'm stupid.” Feelings: These thoughts make you feel negative emotions, such as stress or anxiety. Physical reaction: Your body reacts to your negative thoughts and feelings with a physical reaction, such as blushing, sweating, or shaking. Behavior: You try to reduce your anxiety through conscious or unconscious actions, such as looking away or hiding behind the podium (so people don't see you shaking). Acting in this way can make you think that everyone else is noticing that you look tense (anxious thought), which can then cause you to feel even more stressed (anxious feeling). People with social anxiety often don't realize when their behavior is being driven. anxiety. People with social anxiety typically exhibit three types of behavior: Avoidance behavior: When you avoid situations that make you anxious. For example, you may turn down opportunities to give presentations at work. Leaving behavior: When you leave situations that make you anxious, such as leaving a concert or party after a few minutesbecause of your anxiety. Safety behavior: Actions you take to reduce your anxiety in social situations, such as drinking to make you feel more comfortable or playing a game on your phone at lunch. In the example above, looking away or hiding behind the podium during a presentation is a safety behavior. What to do if you have social anxiety If you think you have social anxiety, the most important question to ask yourself is getting in the way whether it helps you achieve your goals. For example, we mentioned earlier that the vast majority of people report a fear of public speaking. Perhaps you are one of them. But if your job or goals don't require public speaking, then being afraid of it may not be such a big deal. On the other hand, if your fear is preventing you from getting the promotion you want or is preventing you from achieving an important personal goal, such as giving a speech at your sister's wedding, then you may want to seek help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely recognized as the most effective treatment for social anxiety. . CBT is a set of interventions that have been proven to reduce your anxiety through repeated practice. It has two main parts: cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. The cognitive part of CBT is based on the idea that it is not your social situation that is bothering you, but your interpretation of that situation. For example, if you are having dinner with a friend and she leaves early, you can interpret this in several ways. You might think that she found dinner with you boring (which made you feel anxious), or you might think that she had a long day and was tired (and feel neutral). People with social anxiety tend to interpret situations disproportionately negatively. CBT teaches you to recognize and accept the existence of alternative interpretations, allowing you to determine whether other possible explanations might be less likely to cause your anxiety. The behavioral part of CBT involves gradually confronting situations that make you anxious in order to overcome your fear of them. (This exercise is called “unmasking.”) You probably imagine the worst-case scenario will happen if you encounter these situations, so you try to avoid them. However, when you actually put yourself in situations that you fear, you have two important realizations: First, the bad outcome you fear happens less often than you think. Secondly, even if it happens, you will deal with it. It's important that the impact be gradual: you start small, with a situation that is a little worrying but doable. Then work through the situations that cause you real anxiety. For example, if giving a presentation makes you very anxious, to the point where you might even invoke illness to avoid it, your first encounter would be a similar but less anxiety-provoking situation, for example, telling a story to a group of friends. Once you learn to feel comfortable in these practical situations, you will be able to use your newfound confidence in more challenging situations that you are very afraid of or avoid. Tips for People with Social Anxiety Here are some CBT-based tips for dealing with social anxiety at the moment: Remember that everyone is shy. Social anxiety is common and many people experience it. If you're at a party and you're really looking forward to meeting new people, remember that other people may feel the same way. Pause to examine the evidence. When you feel anxious, take a moment and try to identify the anxious thoughts running through your head. Challenge them by asking questions such as: “What evidence do I have that this is true?” and “Is there another explanation for what happened?” If somebody