Oksana, a young unmarried woman of 30 years old, sought psychotherapy due to a general feeling of emptiness, loss of any meaning and a vacuum in values. According to her, she was “completely confused” and did not know “what she wanted in life and from life.” At the time of her appeal, Oksana did not work anywhere. She was provided for by the men she dated. At the same time, she quite often changed her companions, since “not one suited her.” Oksana never became attached to anyone, and the feeling of love was not familiar to her. However, she acknowledged this fact with pronounced sadness, wanting to change and love someone. It must be said that Oksana’s level of intelligence and psychological culture was extremely high. She received a good classical education. Her hobbies were, as a rule, intellectual in nature. Oksana’s ability to realize was quite enough to see her psychological contribution in the current life situation. In fact, this awareness led her to psychotherapy: “I am driven to despair by the fact that I have been destroying my life with consistent persistence for many years!” As it soon became clear, the compulsive tendency to change men and the lack of attachment to them stemmed from the established family tradition. Her mother and grandmother built relationships with men in exactly the same way. Oksana described her mother as a cold, distant woman who was alien to her. Throughout her childhood, Oksana "never received love, care or affection." Moreover, making numerous unsuccessful attempts to arrange her personal life, Oksana’s mother did almost nothing to raise her. So, Oksana spent most of her childhood in her aunt’s rural house, where “no one cared about her.” However, after finishing school, the mother took her daughter to her place and showered all her care on her in the form of helping her receive a good education. During therapy, Oksana behaved rather coldly with me, limiting contact to only numerous stories about relationships with men and professional plans. She didn't seem to care what was happening to me. Frankly, I did not expect anything different, given the client’s life story. At the same time, the feelings of pity, tenderness and sympathy that I regularly experienced towards Oksana throughout the therapy gave me the strength to be in the zone of such cold rejection on her part. And then at one of the sessions something happened that initiated changes, both in the process of psychotherapy and in Oksana’s life. The young woman spoke in detail about the events of her childhood. At the same time, she looked like a small child whom I suddenly wanted to warm up and give something to. I shared my reactions with her. Oksana’s face looked at that moment both confused and moved. She said that she very rarely hears such words from other people. At that moment I noted to myself that, apparently, a little later she would also run away from such situations. However, I did not say this out loud. My words touched Oksana, but after them there was a rather tense pause in our contact. I asked Oksana to listen carefully to herself and try to somehow relate to my words. After several minutes of silence, she said: “I really appreciate your words. But this is more of an intellectual reaction. I don't experience any response in my heart. I hear that you are calling me to some new space for me, but I don’t know where! I don’t know where this space is!” These words from Oksana sounded quietly, but both her and I felt them almost like a scream. The desperate cry of an empty, hungry, wounded and in need of love heart. It is quite difficult, although it would be more correct to say, completely impossible, to experience something that was completely absent from experience. Oksana was unfamiliar with the experience of intimacy, tenderness, touching care and love. Which means whenWhen confronted with her, nothing but confusion and subsequent fear could be expected. But confusion was already a good sign. At least I was heard by Oksana. I told her: “I am really calling you into a space unknown to you - the space of experience. But it does not have geographical coordinates in the usual sense of the word. This space is somewhere between us and at the same time in your heart. It's just hidden from you for now. I'm sad about this, but happy at the same time. I’m glad that we were able to stop here, although we were confused.” We spent some time experiencing this confusion, silently looking at each other. For the first time in our contact we found ourselves somewhere close to each other. I suddenly remembered an example from the Bible, repeated many times in existential literature, when God turns to Abraham and asks him: “Abraham, where are you?” And he says this not at all because he does not know where Abraham is, but in order to draw the latter to experience his life. I know from my own experience how difficult such a question can be to answer. Experience has to be learned. For some, this process is more or less simple, but for others, like Oksana, it is sometimes slow and painful and accompanied by monstrous anxiety. But what’s interesting is that for the most part I learned to worry not in the process of my professional training, but together with my clients. It was they who taught me to appreciate Life and its manifestations - feelings, desires, fantasies, etc. Moreover, as paradoxical as it may sound, I learned most from clients like Oksana, contact with whom required much greater effort to Be and risk to Live . I am grateful to this experience, including to Oksana herself. The feelings that accompanied the reflections I described—gratitude, joy, anxiety, and sadness—overwhelmed me. I shared them with Oksana. She burst into tears and said that she was very grateful to me for the experience of supporting her in her attempts to Live, which she received today. We spent the rest of the session in silence - Oksana, quietly crying, and I in the presence of a person at risk of opening up to Life. This seemed to be a colossal breakthrough in the process of psychotherapy. But, of course, this was just the beginning. The beginning of a very difficult and at times painful process of restoring vitality and taste for Life. Oksana began the next session by again talking in detail about the events that happened with her new young man. At the same time, she looked somewhat agitated and irritable. Her story was again rather cold and somewhat distant. There was no room for experience in him. Moreover, Oksana was not at all interested in the feelings of her boyfriend. It goes without saying that your humble servant also ceased to exist in any form not related to his professional function. Once again, in contact with Oksana, I imagined myself as a kind of “therapeutic device.” It was as if the last session never happened at all. Although, this state of affairs was quite expected. I kept the conversation going for some time about the events of the conflict between Oksana and her boyfriend, after which I tried to focus Oksana’s attention on the process of experiencing these events. When I asked how she felt about what she was saying, Oksana suddenly burst into a stream of irritable complaints addressed to me. She said that she was dissatisfied with the therapy process, that it was going too slowly. After that, she moved on to a list of personal complaints and began accusing me of “I don’t wish her well,” that “I don’t really care about her,” etc. Despite all my attempts to help Oksana somehow relate to what she was saying, she remained very passionate about expressing the accusations themselves. She looked very irritated, although, according to her, she did not feel anything, but simply “decided to deal with me.” It seemed that not a trace remained in our contact of the content and experience of the events of the past.