Do toxic parents have non-toxic children? If the hostess knew and knew how to make sourdough dough, getting the maximum of beneficial bacteria, a fresh smell and a fluffy loaf, she would put the dough on yeast? Therefore, answering the question: “Do toxic parents have non-toxic parents?” I really want to say that yes, there are, but only if there is a person who, living nearby, shows a different option for life, but... usually everyone who cannot escape from this difficult situation gets infected, and usually these are children, they cannot where to run, and no one with. They are dependent on us and are just as sick in this relationship, because they don’t know any other way and are not trained. But more on that below. But there is also a good grain in this whole conversation - if the topic is raised, it means that the rebellion is ripe and has begun. Whatever age the child is, 15, 25, 35 or 45 years old. Will you throw a stone at me and say what kind of child is this? And I agree, but if teenage rebellion began at this age, then this is already a teenager, that’s right, not quite a child. I’m talking about the development of the psyche, about its age, and not about our physical one. And sometimes they don’t coincide so much. And what should a parent do if such a rebellion begins? I would answer to rejoice, but again but... If there are codependent relationships, then rebellion is such a wild pain, because the child does not cut, but tears into pieces the umbilical cord with which he was so tightly connected. What process has begun? What does a teenager do in his development? He tries other behavior patterns. If it is exaggerated, then imagine that you always use cutlery at the table, and in a moment of rebellion the teenager begins to eat only with a spoon or even just with his hands. What emotions does mom or dad have - it’s good if surprise, but usually only negative emotions, what we lack most in life is PATIENCE and wisdom. And at the moment when a child asks for support, protection, at least a neutral position, but not rejection, and strives for freedom, we begin to be offended, compete and educate. He shows us that we already have the strength to live independently, but we cannot let go. Pain, tears, and what else can you experience when there are continuous wounds? And on one side and on the other. And here, I want to remind parents why children come to us, so that we show them with our lives how to live happily, what service and duty to loved ones are, and how to use the border, and that children come, delighting us, and we continue to live as a couple, collecting and forming a new family. And in this situation, we have made the child a substitute husband/wife, our own heart or simply our life, all sorts of cases happen, but the child has its place in life, and he strives for it. Try to allow him to try new things and gain his own experience, mistakes, his own mistakes, and try to allow yourself to have your own life, from which you once escaped due to certain circumstances and then happily forgot about it, existing under the motto: “Now there is someone to live for!” » Yes, it’s scary, and everything is new, but that’s what we live for, to learn and rejoice, and not to hide and hide. What can be done? The one who started the rebellion has more strength for it, but the one who is in this situation the wiser, he will be able to stop and stop fighting, that is, turn on his emotions. After all, dad also experiences pain, acute pain when his daughter stops looking at him as a deity or a son who stops giving tenderness to his mother, and this pain is so great that tears blur his eyes, but... It’s harder for a parent to understand that life goes on and is built the scheme stopped working because it was terribly painful from the new feelings overwhelming him. But the child is no less in pain; all his senses are heightened. He can no longer do the old thing and he can’t do the new one. He always got what he wanted or what the parent wanted, thinking that this is exactly what the child wants, but now, suddenly, they don’t give it or I don’t want to, no, I can’t take what they give. And emptiness, everything is boiling inside, fighting, the tension is the highest, but he doesn’t know how to reduce it, those.