Do you know how to create problems for yourself out of nowhere? It’s easy if you have the wrong attitudes—irrational beliefs. Which settings are “correct”? Let's figure it out. A person may have an internal conviction: “Everyone should agree with me, approve of me and my actions. Otherwise, I’m worthless.” Most likely, such a person will react painfully to critical assessment from others. Such irrational beliefs lead to negative experiences - to resentment and disappointment. For example, a wife tried hard, cooked dinner, but her husband found the dish bland. He voiced his opinion, and she, not receiving approval, felt like a bad housewife, got upset, offended, and invited her husband to eat in the dining room. The woman reacted to her husband’s words, evaluating them based on her own convictions: “The dinner is tasteless - I’m a bad housewife.” Although, the husband just said that there was not enough salt and pepper. If a person has a judgment: “I want people to agree with me, but this is not necessary,” then when faced with disagreement, disapproval of his own actions, with criticism from the outside, he painlessly and without offense perceives other people's opinions. In the case when approval is not required to maintain self-respect and self-worth, the wife will listen to her husband’s opinion, take into account his wishes in the future, and at the same time she will not have feelings of guilt and feelings of worthlessness. And peace will remain in the family. Thinking and emotions are closely connected. A thought turns into an emotion, and an emotion into a thought. We receive information from the outside world, and then interpret and evaluate it in accordance with our beliefs. As a result, we get a reaction that is expressed in our emotional state and behavior. And only on the basis of our assessment does the information take on a negative connotation. Try each of the two judgments given for yourself. With the second one we will feel more confident, right? That’s right - changing even one irrational attitude can make a person’s life much calmer and more pleasant. Do you want to know what other irrational judgments poison a person’s life? We will look at them in future posts..