So, let's talk about self-criticism. Everyone has an inner critic. And that's okay. But you must admit, there is a difference between: Looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing that you have gained a couple of kilos and deciding to run in the morning. That's all! The thought of kg is gone. We live on. And another option: I looked in the mirror, saw the kilos I had gained, and decided to run. And that's not all! There is a constant thought in my head: I am fat/fat! Worthless! Weak-willed! Tightness and stooping appear in the body. The first option is quite attractive. But the second one makes a person suffer, his self-esteem suffers. Where does a strong inner critic come from? Why do some people have it and others don’t? Previous experience is responsible for the formation of a critical perception of oneself. And to a greater extent this is an experience gained in childhood. Dear friends, for whom the problem of self-criticism is relevant, please answer only honestly one question: HAVE YOU OFTEN FACED SITUATIONS OF CRITICISM AND DEVALUATION AGAINST YOUR ADDRESS IN CHILDHOOD? When they told you not to be too happy about your achievements, there is bound to be someone better than you. Your small victories and achievements were not noticed, and for any offense you were scolded and shamed. If your answer is YES, then I sincerely sympathize with you very much. Criticizing and underestimating yourself is not only habitual for you, but you most likely do not have the opposite experience: WHEN THEY SINCERELY BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS, THAT YOU WILL WORK OUT, YOU ARE WELL DONE! Good news: everything can be changed if you really want to !“Your butt is so heavy, dancing is definitely not for you,” my mother told eight-year-old Natasha (that is, me) with love. The inner critic still speaks to me in my mother’s voice: “You are not athletic (child). Everyone will run, but you will stay behind, you will not be able to. Sport is not yours, well, not everyone is given it...” And when I hear this voice inside me, my legs become heavy, as if they are filled with lead, my hands get cold and droop, and I don’t even try to do anything anymore: I’m not athletic, I can’t do it... Obeying this voice, it’s as if I can’t run, dance, roller skate just the way it turns out, it’s not ideal... I’m paralyzed by fear, I refuse. The inner critic speaks to us through the voices of our parents, grandparents, coaches and teachers. In whose voice does your inner critic speak to you? I wasn't criticized for everything. I have received support for many of my achievements. But in terms of active sports, playing musical instruments, and singing, I did not receive this support. Quite the contrary, I remember how my family lovingly discussed my clumsiness. How did I begin to negotiate with my inner critic? Firstly, I began to distrust the words of my inner critic, I began to treat them not as facts, but as just thoughts that come and go, like clouds in the sky. I learned to transform the thought “I won’t succeed” into “I had the thought that maybe it won’t work out, but it’s just a thought, not an axiom,” so over time my reaction to the inner critic became less intense. What did this lead to: I started studying vocals and even took part in several concerts; I started learning to dance bachata and even performed with a group on stage; I believed in myself, started running and ran a distance of 10 km. Maybe I didn’t sing, didn’t dance, didn’t run the best. BUT! I received great pleasure from participating in these processes. And for me this is a victory! What achievements can you praise yourself for? For whom the issue of the internal critic is relevant, come to me for a consultation. Together we can achieve significant changes in this matter. I will be glad to help. Write to WhatsApp by phone number 89132922915.