From the author: T.Ts. Sinton - When I told my beloved friend the topic of my new article, she, wrinkling her pretty nose, said listlessly: “Well, that’s boring...” Boring? Perhaps. But any boring content can be put into a bright, interesting form and then... I thought... what then? The first analogy that came to mind was simple and banal: let’s take candy. Wrap a piece of playdough in a pretty wrapper, give it a catchy name, and they'll be in demand... for a while... not for long. Invite your child to choose one of two candies, and he will choose the one in a bright wrapper, however, if there is plasticine there, the child may henceforth refuse candies altogether. On the other hand, good “Soviet” chocolate has always been in demand, despite all the unprepossessing “Soviet” packaging. But a person is not candy or a piece of plasticine. For humans, everything is more complicated. And if the wrapper and contents do not match, it will be almost immediately noticeable unless the person stands still. And in this case... In general, the time has come to abandon the banal candy analogy. Everyone knows that an impression of a person is formed in the first 4 seconds of acquaintance, is clarified in the first 5 minutes of conversation and leaves an imprint on all further communication. Many different good books, guides and manuals are trumpeting loudly about how to “sell yourself profitably”, “how to present yourself in 90 seconds”, “how to master the art of self-presentation”. But it’s curious: for some reason, one, having honestly read the book from cover to cover and armed with the right ideas, goes and achieves the intended result. Another achieves results, although he has never heard of any such books. The third fails interviews one after another, despite the fact that his “weapons” are in no way inferior to the first. And the fourth one hasn’t read any books, hasn’t failed interviews, and in general doesn’t particularly strive to get anywhere, he sits where he was sent and gets paid, but we’re not talking about him, actually - let him sit there if he’s happy there. And all this, mind you, other things being equal: high intelligence, work experience, experience, etc. Apparently, there is something like that in “Soviet” chocolate... So is it really impossible to understand what exactly? You can. Stand in front of a mirror. Close your eyes and remember the situation when, as they say, “it’s boring, and sad, and there’s no one to give a hand in a moment of spiritual adversity.” Do you remember? And how unpleasantly it pinched behind the sternum, as if cats were scratching, did you remember? And how a lump came to your throat, and your eyes burned with tears, and how sorry you felt for yourself, so small, unhappy, lonely, did you also remember? Now open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror. Take a close look. The drooping corners of the lips, see? Slouched shoulders, a sunken neck, a dull look - you can’t hide them even under a very good suit. And your interlocutor will definitely feel this on an intuitive, unconscious level. Now close your eyes again. And remember the moment of anger, when irritation and righteous indignation almost left you speechless, your breath sank, your fists involuntarily clenched and the nodules on your cheekbones rolled. Open your eyes and look at yourself again. Comment? You will say that this is a temporary state, which, moreover, has now been caused consciously, which means that it can also be changed consciously. Yes. Absolutely. But look around. Look at the people around you. See, a woman on the subway. She is so sweet, charming, her face is so pleasant, and her cheerful eyes glow with childish enthusiasm, she is dressed flashily, but with taste, thin long fingers, well-groomed nails covered with bright varnish. True, if you look closely, then under the long, pointedly styled hair you can see a slight arch in the neck, and if you ask her what time it is, her voice will turn out to be high and slightly rattling. She is like that. This is not a temporary condition brought on consciously, it is something she has no control over. These features, almost imperceptible, are an external reflection of herpsychological traits formed in childhood, a reflection of her ideas about herself and the world that surrounds her. Now imagine that she comes for an interview for the position of head of a department or top manager. Will they take her? Would you take it? And why? Right. She won't be able to lead. And he will not be able to make decisions on his own. And childish enthusiasm in her eyes will turn into childish capriciousness if her superiors are dissatisfied with her. The manager or HR manager conducting the interview will probably note that she easily navigates the work material, knows a lot, speaks well and correctly, but, having said goodbye to her, most likely, he will think of her as a sweet, charming woman, and not as a about the head of the department. In addition, if the HR manager is also a psychologist, he will definitely assume that this applicant will often go on sick leave due to diseases of the throat and upper respiratory tract. Or here is a young man at a rack in a store. He’s also such a nice guy: his face is pleasant, even handsome, he’s tall, he smiles when talking to the seller, he’s neatly dressed. But if you come a little closer: the voice is quiet, speaks quickly, indistinctly, the smile is apologetic, the shoulders are raised slightly, because of this there is an excessive arch in the neck and lower back. When standing, the knees seem somehow too straight and the feet are apart, like a ballerina. This is not immediately noticeable, and it is unlikely that just a person, just a manager hiring him, just a negotiating partner will consciously note these details and begin to analyze them like we are doing now. It won’t, but they won’t go completely unnoticed. Our unconscious very sensitively picks up all the signals coming to us from another person. Not all of this information later enters the sphere of consciousness for processing. Some part of it remains in the subconscious and is processed there, and then sent to consciousness, but in the form of sensory signals like “like or dislike”, “there is something in it”, “intuition tells me that...”, “people like him are always...”, “he’s kind of...” etc. And the most annoying thing is that it is almost impossible to control all the signals that we unconsciously send to the world. That’s why they say: “The body doesn’t lie.” Your body gives you away, as they say. It tells you so much about you that you may not know about yourself. You can, of course, after hard training, learn to at least hide negative information about yourself. But such a game of hide and seek is a game with one goal, a game with oneself. It takes a lot of time and takes a lot of energy, so much that there is no longer enough of it for anything else, including performing functional duties. The first impression is undoubtedly a valuable thing, but the image is not created in the first five minutes. The formation of your image involves not only your clothes, your appearance, the pace and timbre of your speech and movements, your physical constitution, but also your deeds, the content of speech and even your thoughts, which, as we have seen, cannot be hidden in the body, as an awl in a bag. It’s not enough to get the coveted job - you need to hold on to it, prove yourself, and if you are busy in the endless process of deceiving your own body and your own worldview, then you simply won’t have enough for everything else. Therefore, if you really spend time and effort preparing yourself for serious negotiations , promotion, interview or even a date with the subject of your dreams, it is better to spend them on changing and improving your image, not just style. Because image is a form that logically follows from content. The word “image” is now more popular than ever, but most often it is found in the names of beauty salons and studios involved in style development. For high-quality internal work, it is better to start with consultations with a psychologist and image analyst. It will help bring your real image closer to your ideas about your ideal self, the so-called “ideal image” or “ideal self”. And, believe me, the results will not take long to appear.!