And who owes what to whom? One of the most common themes in my psychological practice is when in a family one or both partners are not satisfied with their relationship. Spouses make seemingly justified demands on each other: > she doesn’t pick me up from work and doesn’t feed me ,> he doesn’t pay attention to me,> she doesn’t work and doesn’t keep the house clean,> he earns little, doesn’t want to get a second job, etc. In these claims, two people, living with each other, insist that they are right based on their own position, without seeing the big picture. Before getting married, young people usually live in their ancestral families. Their needs were satisfied by their parents and the very structure of the family in which they were located. When a new family is formed, both spouses come with their established habits of receiving attention, care, support, material benefits, etc. And here a dilemma arises, and who will receive whom? and what should? A family is a living system that grows, develops and changes over time. It is influenced by both external and internal factors. But not many people know that marital relationships are the basis of the family. When a child appears in the family, the spouses in the couple have new roles: the role of mom and dad. And then the focus of attention shifts from marital relationships to parent-child relationships. The child’s needs are fully satisfied, but the spouses’ needs remain in the shadows and irritation accumulates. The needs of a couple are divided into: male and female Admiration and recognition Home comfort and the opportunity to relax Sharing his interests Sexual satisfaction Physical attractiveness of the spouse Financial security Tenderness Honesty and openness of your man A good father for the child. Communication and attention