From the author: A letter from a woman who survived the betrayal of her beloved husband. A woman who was able to forgive and preserve her family happiness. Her experience will be useful to many and therefore I am posting her personal experiences, realizations and achievements. Yesterday at work we were talking about a talk show, the hero of which left for his mistress. The woman could not cope with the stress and plunged into a binge, forgetting about the child. The subject of our discussion was precisely the reaction of the ex-wife. Two of my colleagues said in one voice: “Yes, even if he walked, why should he hold on…” Is it worth holding on and is it possible to hold on? You can't hold it by force. That's for sure. But I wouldn’t rush to let go easily either. Let me digress to the very reaction of my colleagues, who easily stated that they would not keep it. I couldn’t believe it... They say this either as a distraction (they actually think differently), or by those who have never encountered this. I am sure of this, and women who have experienced their husband’s betrayal will understand me. A million acute and painful reactions arise, but not the calm and reasonable one - “let him go, why not hold on?” Even if there is no love, the feeling of being abandoned is extremely unpleasant. It's painful and humiliating. Anger arises, a desire to take revenge, to tear everyone into pieces. This is when there is no love. And if there was a feeling, then the world is completely collapsing. The collapse of trust, plans, suffocating fear of the future... The news of a husband’s betrayal is always unexpected and sounds implausible. It is impossible to prepare for this. We are convinced that this will not happen to us. The reason for each person’s conviction is different: we’ve both had enough fun, my husband is incapable of doing this in principle, my husband loves me to the point of unconsciousness. Perhaps this is exactly how it is in your family, but even an old woman can have a hard time... I don’t want to sow fear or suspicion of my husband in anyone, especially since I don’t tar everyone “with the same brush.” It’s just that there are many reasons for a husband’s betrayal and they are not always obvious. And, to our great regret, they even cheat on very beautiful, decent, good wives. I don’t take into account those men who hang around constantly and openly. This is pathology. I would not live with such a March cat. Now I’m talking about casual betrayal, a one-time affair, or a short-lived affair on the side, in a family where everything seems to be fine. Even a very loving husband who valued his family, unfortunately, is capable of such an act. Should I forgive him? My answer is yes. A man needs to be given a chance, or rather, not the man, but both. Both are “to blame” for any betrayal. Don’t be in a hurry to object: cooked lunches, clean shirts and well-groomed children are not all a man needs. Often we stifle our husbands, and they are forced to look for an outlet. Often men go to the “dumb and ugly” - where it is easier and you can breathe freely, making independent decisions. Be a man. At home, the wife decided everything. For everyone. A humiliating, oppressive atmosphere for a strong man. Escape is almost inevitable. It's a question of time. I was such a decisive wife in all respects. Until I found out about my husband’s betrayal... The awareness of my own participation in what happened did not come immediately, of course. Qualified help from a psychologist helped me. I’ll tell you about how I experienced all this another time. It was, oh, how difficult and painful... But everything passed, but the family remained, and I changed (though not completely and not immediately). In short, our family benefited from a painful lesson. And I urge women who have experienced their husband’s betrayal to give their erring spouse a second chance. An article on the topic “Husband’s betrayal: execute or pardon?” can be read by following the link http://never-too-late.ru/izmena-muzha-kaznit-ili-pomilovat/