The question of hiding income: “I found your stash!” Previously, this phrase could mainly belong only to women - traditionally it was believed that husbands hid their salaries. Today: That is, now, with equal probability, both husband and wife may find themselves in a position where they “suddenly” learned about the real level of income of the other half. And it didn’t hurt so much that they found out. It is important that... What continuation is in your head now? “...it’s important why he does this!”, “...It’s important where exactly he spends it!”, “...It’s important to understand how I should behave now..?”, “...It’s important to say everything so that this happens more.” did not have!". Perhaps you have now come up with your own version. So why might spouses hide their income? One of the spouses does not accept the hobbies of the other (“What do you want to buy?? What kind of boat motor!! Crazy!”). They protect the pride of another - “so that they don’t know that I earn more” (this reason is typical for women). They create a “safety cushion” - this often happens in families where one of the spouses suffered greatly in their first marriage, and is now not ready to be left with “nothing” after a divorce. In any case, this is a signal that there is uncertainty about the partner’s feelings, and lack of confidence in the future. Most likely, jealousy (whether justified or not) will still be present in the couple. And hiding money in the family will often be perceived much more sharply than betrayal. Because betrayal can sometimes mean nothing for an existing relationship (I’m not saying it will be painless, but it won’t destroy the marriage). But the understanding that “he takes money to that one and supports her” is a real threat to the family. SOLVING THE SITUATION: The issue of trust in a couple is not a situation that is “solved from the head” (“I have to trust her!” - it won’t work). Start by being honest with yourself that something is wrong in the relationship. If you do not intend to get a divorce this very second, and you don’t know what to do (or are not ready) - shift your focus to your affairs and interests. I mean that then you will be less bothered by the topic of “being taken out of the family.” Perhaps during this period it is worth switching to a shared budget (see “Family Budget”). Perhaps you will feel a natural desire to invest more money in yourself, in your desires. Do this, just remember that this is not the solution to the situation. And when you are ready, sit down to discuss what is really happening. And what do you want to get? The outcome of the situation depends on both sides.