How does your “try” option work? Mine sometimes glitches. From somewhere comes the stupid belief that everything needs to be right right away. Guess on the first try. Otherwise... And the devil knows what else, but obviously nothing good. By the way, what is “correct” is not always clear. What’s offensive is that this disgrace extends to any possible situations. Both those that really require responsibility and maximum effort, and those that are completely safe. Even those that are literally created to be tried. Educational, for example. Let them say as much as they want that it is safe here and there is no need to be afraid. Let them give out as many indulgences as they want for mistakes. No I do not believe! It should immediately and correctly. This thing also gets in the way in matters that are just for the soul. There was a period when I was doing polymer. And sometimes I was absurdly afraid of ruining the material. Even when mastering new technology. Even taking into account that it is for the process, not sales. Even if you perfectly understand the simple truth: “how can you really get to know the material if you don’t allow yourself to interact with it in every way and don’t see what comes out of it?” This option gets confused even in the stupidest little things. For example, it is difficult to go to a new place. It's sometimes difficult to even find the way there. Because walking and actively turning your head (“with your mouth open,” someone’s voice in my head says carefully) doesn’t seem ok. Walking and turning around, realizing that you should have gone the other way, is also not ok. For some reason. And in this very thing new place is nervous. I can't explore with interest. All you can do is strain yourself. And how can you get pleasure in such conditions? Speaking of pleasure. What I like should also be understood immediately. WITHOUT TRYING. Funny, right? It's the funniest thing when I think about it. And when I don’t think about it, but try to conform, for some reason it’s not funny at all... That’s why it’s important to think about it. A bias towards the part that should immediately and correctly is usually associated with a wave of shame. With a period when the inner critic especially diligently squeezes his hands on his throat. And if it’s already hard to breathe, and there’s too much tension in life, it’s time to do something about it. And preferably not what the critic dictates. Somewhere inside there is definitely another part - the curious one. Who truly enjoys the research process itself. Who experiments often and with pleasure. What if so? What if this is the case? How can I do this? How does this resonate in me? This part, however, can spend an hour in the grocery store, catching responses from within and checking which dinner will give it more pleasure. But this hour will fly by unnoticed and even blissfully. It can be useful to look for an area where you can walk this part. Where you can allow yourself to try. Moreover, enjoying the process itself, and not just for the sake of the result. Some area where the critic, if he doesn’t allow it, won’t eat at all. Maybe somewhere simpler, where there are no spectators. But where you can grasp this almost childish pleasure - to interact and see what comes out of it. Feel the response of space and yours. Where it’s not only possible to try, but also very cool. And slowly expand, bring more of this into life.