From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert of television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, NLP master, best master, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, as you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube and typing “Afanasyeva Lilia” This is what my client from Moscow said, with whom I worked as a sexologist, psychotherapist and family psychologist. The girl had difficulty getting an orgasm, but she wanted to solve this problem not so much for herself as for her partner. Experienced sexologists, psychotherapists and family psychologists will tell you that this is not the best motivation for solving a client’s sexual problems. Further, the following difficulty emerged: “I can’t relax with the man I like.” Again, it is worth noting that this state and behavior is inherent to many, and the point here is that: when we like a person, we try to demonstrate our best sides and make the most favorable impression. And for this you have to try. Here the client will be helped by working to increase self-confidence and improve self-esteem. In this part, I, as a sex psychologist, worked with a girl. And her ideas about herself began to change. Next we came to the point that my client from Moscow’s partner was a priority more than she herself. Here I, as a sexologist and family psychologist, advocate healthy selfishness. It is worth noting the truth that all sexologists, psychotherapists and family psychologists know: if a person loves himself, is interested in himself, then he will evoke similar states, emotions and feelings in others. Analyzing this problem more deeply, we came across dislike on the part of the father. The girl always lacked attention from her dad. This is where her condition grew: resentment, uncertainty, and the thought that she was not appreciated. So the classic story repeated itself in my psychotherapeutic practice. Instead of working with the female sexual problem of anorgasmia and frigidity, we have moved towards classical psychotherapy. Next, a companion of insecure people appeared - jealousy. It's worth noting that often all of our sex can happen in our thoughts. Things often don’t go further than this, or the thoughts are of an alarming nature, and only intensify the same female sexual problems: vaginismus, anorgasmia, frigidity, or jealousy. Here the girl often imagined her partner with someone else, in the FFM version. This turned her on, warmed her up and at the same time strained her, because in these pictures my client’s partner from Moscow was having sex not with her, but with another girl. And this sexual scenario very quickly became a habit. Now the girl more often imagined him with someone else than with herself. This kind of displacement and replacement took place. Here I needed a separate study of the topic of jealousy. Here the situation was intertwined with the client’s past, when her father cheated on her mother and left the family for some time. And then there were a couple of similar stories in her personal life. Now we have come to the point of letting go of this problematic state, and finally becoming free from unnecessary problematic thoughts and states. Next, we began to approach the final chords of psychotherapy. Here the elaboration of the theme began: “I’m afraid of losing control over the situation,” “I can’t give in to passion.” This also led to the projection of one’s problematic state towards female sexual problems - anorgasmia and frigidity. This topic also requires detailed and in-depth study. But I will talk about this in my next article. PS This.