From the author: Today is an article for those who don’t know where and how to find a man. An article from Svetlana Mikhailova, who continues to share her experience. At my request, she describes in detail the process of finding her ideal man. The result of which was marriage. I was inspired to write an article by a friend, or more precisely, by the catastrophic shortage of men in her life. At first I thought about Alenka’s futile attempts to arrange her personal life, and then I remembered that she was not alone in her problem. Many women cannot meet each other. They don’t know how to do it, they complain about the lack of communication, and are indignant at the lack of good men. Picking up a guy became problematic. I'm not even talking about marriage, simple acquaintance is a problem for many. What prevents attractive, successful and free women from meeting men? Let us highlight three main links in the identified problem: Where to meet? How to meet? What to do if you come across only assholes?  Location. That's it, for me personally, finding a place to meet has never been a problem. I believe that special places for dating simply do not exist. A place is any space in the universe - from the office center to the vegetable department to the nearest grocery store. With the advent of the Internet, borders completely disappeared. Now you can get acquainted without even leaving your home - connect in the vastness of the World Wide Web! To get acquainted, you do not need to wait for a certain phase of the moon or a happy coincidence of circumstances. If today you are planning an outing from home, then there are chances for acquaintance! And they are great. Circumstances, by the way, may not be happy at all, but on the contrary. Dating often takes place in the style of “nothing was foreshadowed.” Let me give you a couple of examples. Are you sick? Great, take a closer look at the gentlemen in line to see the therapist. Neutral doctor. Or look for your hero near the emergency room. It’s probably not worth looking for the prince among the visitors to the skin and venereal dispensary. Although, on the other hand, why not? Maybe a man undergoes a routine medical examination or regularly undergoes tests for his own peace of mind. This is better than unpleasantly painful surprises after meeting... In the end, you ended up in such a place for a reason... Let's leave a queue at the tannery as a potential place for dating Among There are a lot of men and hypochondriacs: quite healthy men constantly suspect that they have some kind of illness and go to the hospital for treatment. The feeling that they have not been fully treated or not thoroughly examined forces representatives of the stronger sex to visit the clinic again and again. Therefore, hospitals are a good place to meet, as paradoxical as it may sound, a healthy man. Cemetery. Don’t be alarmed, remember better the movie “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears.” For those who have forgotten: “I was recently told at the cemetery to make good acquaintances with widowers,” said one of the heroines. Personal experience: I once made a useful acquaintance at a cemetery. The occasion was most inappropriate - my father’s funeral. I still feel awkward when I tell this story. Stereotypes weigh heavily on us: it’s impossible here, it’s impossible here. They sometimes prevent us from taking advantage of the opportunity. I then broke the stereotype and added to my collection of successful acquaintances. No one fell into euphoria during the ceremony, the procession passed according to all the funeral canons, but the meeting place it became a cemetery. Queues. An endless line of people. An ideal environment for dating! You can be tense, angry, or you can take a closer look. I met my husband in the queue of a credit institution. More precisely, we knew each other superficially before, but at the bank I took a closer look at him. No one has canceled the usual places for dating, it’s just Sometimes it's worth changing your perspective. Office. A hackneyed topic in office romance, but it does not lose its relevance. Just take a broader look at the office plankton: in addition to colleagues, there are visitors, clients and just acquaintances who stopped by to see one of their colleagues for a couple of minutes. Catering in a broad sensethis word. I don't like restaurant dating. Especially in the evening, it's more like eating. It went a bit. Especially if you prepare too seriously for going to dinner. Careful preparations and waiting are exhausting, and the trip itself is often filled with disappointment: the evening restaurant hall is full of the same seeking women. Men - to a minimum. “The Eighth of March” is how such an outcome is usually called. The lunch break is a completely different matter. At lunchtime there are a lot of men in cafes and restaurants. Everyone is sober and preoccupied, but the limited time will force you to mobilize your internal reserves of charm and attract the attention of the candidate you like. I met my husband at lunchtime in a restaurant. True, I was rude then, and the acquaintance did not work out on the first try. Roads and travel are truly limitless opportunities for meetings. Train stations, roadside or coastal cafes, planes and trains, the beach, deserted or crowded streets, fairs and excursions. There is no need for comments here. Internet. I have never used dating sites; visual contact with a real person is important to me. But it works, try searching there too. Online dating has its own charm: in the proposed search form, you enter all the desired criteria. It’s like ordering a dish in a restaurant. A couple of minutes and the option that meets the selection criteria shines with a snow-white smile from the photo. There is a risk - many announced grooms pose as fairy-tale princes, thereby inflating their price on the marriage market. Don’t fall for dazzling avatars, and don’t put off a live meeting for too long. It’s better to be disappointed and go on a new search than to get bogged down in illusions and sweet expectations. I don’t see the need to turn to matchmakers or marriage agencies, although I believe you can find your destiny there too. It’s a shame to just pay money for such an accessible event. Getting acquainted is not a problem! Be smart. As an exercise, write down fifty dating places based on your own life circumstances. List everything that comes to mind. Stupidly - from a specific bakery around the corner to a post office on the other side of the city. Write it down so that your MIND can see that in fact there are many places for dating. Remember: any place is ideal for meeting a man. How to meet? Another question that darkens a woman’s life, filling her with a feeling of problematicity. In search of an answer to the question “where,” a woman’s attention is directed to the outside world. She is looking for the “ideal place to meet”, dividing places into: appropriate and not, suitable and indecent, accessible and prohibitive. The question “how” is rooted in a woman’s sense of self, inward. The right direction: it is the thoughts that prevent us from getting to know each other, and they, as you know, are inside us. Disastrous thoughts creep into a woman’s head that she is not good enough, or too fat, does not have expensive clothes, does not go anywhere, has seen little. A bland life. And the woman who lives it is not interesting as an object for acquaintance. If you are a woman, then you must inevitably attract the attention of a man. This is natural. So why is it different, what kind of paradox? Who came up with the idea that for a successful acquaintance you need an attractive, or even ideal, appearance? No and no again. Appearance plays a role, but only to the extent that you need to be neat and look like a woman. This is important. Leave men's clothing and manners to active lesbians or teenage girls who assert themselves in this way. I have a friend who is, let’s say, far from being an inch. The appearance is the most ordinary. But there are so many men hovering around. This is not an isolated example. Turn around and you will see many beautiful and completely lonely women. And on the contrary, there is always a simpleton or even an ugly woman who cannot fight off her admirers. A homely lady and a strong gentleman with a brutal appearance. Such pairs are common. Lonely owners of a spectacular, well-groomed appearance are violently indignant at such a choice of a stranger.!