From the author: How and from whom do our children learn to lie? Many years ago, when I was a teenager, my mother proudly told her friends that her daughter never lies. I’m still surprised - naive... I remember how I hid my love with a “bad” boy from her, but told stories about friendship with a fictitious “good” boy, carefully working out the “image” in detail and endowing him with all the positive features that, according to In my opinion, a mother might like her daughter’s boyfriend. Are there any children who don’t lie? Or do they not hide anything from their parents? I doubt. Because, firstly, this is the natural behavior of a child under 4-5 years of age (the age at which self-awareness and a sense of responsibility begin to form) in situations where the child is forbidden to do what he really, really wants. He simply does not yet know how to control himself, is not able to fight his desires, and prohibitions may simply not be within his power. And he violates them... but how you want to be good for mommy! And the baby naively denies his involvement in the offense... Secondly, what child does not have the bitter experience of condemnation, censure, harsh words, screaming, punishment, and even beatings from parents for something for which he is not very guilty, because due to age simply could not cope, resist, calculate, etc.? And he himself was offended and ashamed, and then they added... No, it’s better to hide until the last minute, deny everything and put yourself in a favorable light - such a childhood decision is unconsciously made by the child and begins to put it into practice... And finally, the parents’ own example. Here are just a few examples of parental behavior through which they teach children to lie if it is profitable: - notes with fictitious good reasons for the child to miss school; - asking the child to answer the phone and tell the caller that mothers (fathers, grandmothers...) are not there at home; - advice to a child to lie about his age in order to save on a movie ticket, on public transport, on attractions, etc.; - failure of parents to fulfill a promise given to the child; - parents bragging about how they managed to outwit the seller, save on taxes, etc. - denial by one of the parents that he made a mistake, when the child knows perfectly well that he made it. A great many more such situations can be cited, but the essence is the same: we, parents, ourselves do a lot for in order to teach a child to lie or not tell the truth. The conclusion, perhaps, is this: if we manage to control ourselves - not to demand the impossible, not to overdo it with meaningless punishments and not to set a bad example - then there is hope that our children will be able to do without lies.