Well, in most cases, at least. And now stamps in the passport with family status are placed at the same rate as filling out foreign passports. So, is the institution of marriage being destroyed? Today I want to talk not about the internal (what happens inside the couple), but about the external reasons for this transformation. Even 40-50 years ago, if the husband somehow behaved “badly”, then the wife could him to write a complaint about the work. They would have called him onto the carpet and asked him sternly: “Where are you going, Odysseus, from your wife, from your children?” They would wag their finger and make a suggestion. He would have obeyed, but since there was nowhere to go, he would have gone home. And there was nowhere to go, both literally and figuratively. It was problematic to move out - housing was not easy. There was much less internal freedom from public opinion. Did the spouses have a good time together? No. The marriage was strong, but the relationship was shit. And the stronger the marriage, the more people hated each other. Or they felt constantly guilty because they wanted to do things differently than public morality dictates. But if you are taught from an early age that personal things can be sacrificed in the name of something brighter and eternal, then you can and should be patient. Well, then he will endure it or fall in love. Many “or drank themselves to death.” Once again. The marriage was strong. It was strengthened by the external environment. To the point that parents could choose a “worthy” couple for their child and get them married. And then, until death, meddle in their lives and teach them how to build a family, raise children, furnish an apartment, iron panties and fold socks. And at the same time, I also love my homeland. Then the external pressure, let’s call it “tradition,” quickly collapsed. In the sense that it has not disappeared from the minds of that generation, but the social institutions that helped it exist have evaporated. Now a wife can write a complaint and send it to her husband’s boss, but, at best, they will smile at this and say: “Odysseus, send this Penelope to hell already!” Those. the external supports of the building called “marriage” have disappeared. And here is the expected conflict of generations. If a wedding is discussed, then the parents (although time is passing, so it’s more like grandparents) usually say: “We need to invite our second cousin and great-nephew.” Young people have never seen them and don’t want to expand their horizons. They answer: “It’s our wedding, we’re doing it for ourselves. We invite whoever we want to see.” This is where the fun begins. A modern marriage can only last through internal connections between the couple. There are no more external supports. This is what these connections are enough for, this is how it will be: a guest marriage, official polyamory, an open marriage or something more familiar according to the legends of deep antiquity. The pressure of tradition is no longer of decisive importance. But there are a number of situations when spouses will have to firmly defend the boundaries of a young family: a wedding, the first year of marriage, the birth of a child, etc. These are the triggers that actualize the relatives of the older generation, since in their lives at that moment such issues were resolved “by the whole world.” And it is pointless to try to prove or explain something to the “older” generation when a scythe has found a stone. And this is not about the fact that the seniors don’t understand. They all understand perfectly well. They just don't agree. And they have the right to do so. Because it's in their DNA. This is a supporting structure in their picture of the world. If they agree to something different and overthrow the importance of tradition, then they will have to reevaluate their entire lives. Moreover, revaluation will be painful and traumatic. Well, why do they need it? They don’t need this. Therefore, advice to young people: don’t try to fight with the seniors, don’t convince them, don’t explain anything to them, they all understand perfectly well. They simply do not agree and will never agree. Therefore, do as you see fit, treating pressure with friendly understanding. If you don't have the energy to be friendly, ignore it. Yes, they will manipulate: they will say that they will curse you, they will cross you off the list of relatives, someone will have a stroke, someone will not survive this betrayal, etc. None of.