From the author: An article about the influence of childhood experience on the formation of personality, character and lifestyle. Of course, this is not a choice that we make in a measured atmosphere, calmly weighing the pros and cons, That’s why I put the word “choose” in quotation marks. We act under the influence of difficult circumstances, acquiring the habit of living in one way or another. As a rule, we make such choices in childhood, trying to best adapt to the conditions of our lives. We do everything to be safe, to continue to be loved, to remain close to those who can take care of us. At that age when neither pride, nor shame, nor rules of behavior, nor fear of evaluation, nor knowledge of what will be useful or harmful to us in the future hinder our flexibility and do not influence our decisions. Then we don’t understand what life is like, we don’t know that it can be different, that there are difficult situations that will generally pass and should not be taken as a starting point when forming our outlook on life in general. In general, a lot depends on what the situation was at the beginning, what kind of people surrounded us, what habits, restrictions and life circumstances forced them to live and behave exactly as they did. Let’s imagine that some child lived in a family where, for example, someone was unfortunately ill. I was ill for a long time, difficultly and required a lot of attention and care. A child in such a family was praised for being quiet, unassuming, not bothering anyone, taking care of himself and not attracting attention. If this situation lasted long enough, then the child learned the lesson well and it is very likely that now he will always try to follow the learned rules to achieve success in life. As an adult, he will be very surprised and indignant every time how he is, so quiet, modest and the invisible one did not become happy and successful, because he did everything for his own happiness!? People around him constantly do not understand how he can refuse the opportunity to express his talents and ambitions for career growth, the opportunity to stand out and prove himself in the company of nice people, or the opportunity to attract the attention of the girl he likes. How he never asks for help or shares his sadness with friends, remaining independent (read lonely) in the most difficult situations. We will say: “he chose to be alone,” but I am afraid that he does not remember when and how he made this choice. So that now he really has a choice, he needs to do some work. We do everything right - we choose the best! We chose the best then, all we have to do is start choosing the best now. The only catch is this “ONLY”. We are not at all as free and flexible as then, so we will work to acquire a fresh look, restoring the ability to see and evaluate what is happening as it is (without templates, patterns and crooked mirrors) as much as possible. By looking at the character of an adult, understanding in what “matrix” he exists, how he sees this world, we can say a lot about his childhood. Not everything in this “picture of the world” will be harmful and worthless; we are alive and more or less prosperous thanks to it. But when faced with difficulties that seem insurmountable, dissatisfaction and failure, it is useful to critically rethink its individual fragments.