Byugental and his social circles All people who meet on your way, with whom you communicate, fall into the zone of one of the social circles. These circles were once described by American psychotherapist James Bugental. If you visualize this diagram, then you are like the sun in the center of the galaxy, and people are like planets that revolve around you at different distances. Let's look at this system in more detail. The first and furthest circle is formal communication. If we continue the comparison with the solar system, it will be Jupiter. You rarely see these people and communication occurs at the level of small talk. This is a kind of border between strangers and unfamiliar people. There may be communication between colleagues from different departments who see each other once a year at a general meeting, or with a concierge who for two years cannot remember that you live in this house. This is communication with a passerby (how to get there, how long it will take), communication with a cashier or courier, etc. At this level, you do not let people get close, communication is only about external circumstances, without even exchanging opinions or your emotions. It is important to keep your face so that the other person doesn’t think “anything like that” about you. This relationship is very controlled and constrained. The second circle is maintaining contact. Mars is already closer to the Sun and rotates faster. Accordingly, you communicate with people in this circle more often and a little closer. There is such friendship here, perhaps even good and pleasant. You can talk not only about external circumstances (sports, weather, etc.), but also about your thoughts about it. Remember that Mars is the god of war, so it’s too early to share feelings at this stage. But you can put a heart under the article, write a comment under the photo. If communication with a person from this circle comes to naught, in general you will not be very upset, but you will notice. For example, you buy flowers in the same store from the same saleswoman. She wholeheartedly recommends the best, freshest flowers. And when suddenly you come and she’s not there, you’ll really be wondering, “Where’s Katya?” But you won’t look for her number and ask why she quit. This also includes communication when you are on each other’s contact list as friends and congratulate each other on the holidays and nothing more. It seems like it’s not comme il faut to unfollow, but I don’t really want to let you get closer. The third circle is standard communication. It is comfortable, like life on planet Earth. All conditions have been created. This is the beginning of friendship or feelings. Closer communication where you can share not only thoughts, but also emotions and feelings. But still, the earth is a very social planet, so we talk about feelings with an eye to norms and decency. Such relationships are understandable, we know what to expect, we have many topics for communication. Often in this circle are our friends, relatives, colleagues with whom we are on the same wavelength. Yes, we can talk about feelings, but there is no deep contact, so that they cry together with us, just remain silent and be nearby. It is difficult and unusual for people in this circle to bear and contain your strong emotions (joy, sadness, pain, and anger), so the first thing they will try to do is put out this fire. Fires are harmful to planet Earth. So in this circle of communication, they can cause either a transition to deeper levels or, on the contrary, a distance from the message, it is too emotional/strange, I will stay away, otherwise they will also think something wrong about me. The fourth circle is critical circumstances. And here we have, by analogy with the solar system, Venus. No wonder she spins in the other direction. Critical circumstances are a crisis. Here I no longer care what I look like, I show my feelings in all their glory. This circle is short-lived, because circumstances pass. After it, you either move to the fifth level or return from heaven to Earth (read standard communication). Critical circumstances include real crisis cases - emergencies, illnesses, etc. This also includes news that divides life into before and after - pregnancy, declaration of love, etc. Here you can talk about your inner.