This happens gradually, at first some minor changes in appearance are noticed, and I think - but there is a cosmetologist, you need to go to him more often. And I live on. Then your health starts to fail more often than usual. Then the strength becomes a little less. All this is a little bit and barely noticeable. And it is felt quite rarely. And I look in the mirror, and I’m still the same, young, still the same perception of myself and life in general, but some hints of change are already appearing. And then at one fine moment I was overcome by the realization, it is very difficult for me, that half of my life has already passed. How could this happen to me? After all, I was always so young and never thought of myself like that - a “middle-aged woman.” It can't be me, it could be anyone, just not me. There's a woman in a store, a doctor in a clinic, a teacher at her daughter's school... But not me. I was always young, so many plans, so much still ahead. And then suddenly! And half of my life has already passed! And it’s time to take serious stock, and the time that remains - it no longer feels like endless. A clear and clear awareness of the finitude of life comes. Not in general life, but specifically MY life. For me, this is a period when life is divided into before and after. Not in terms of some terrible events, but in terms of self-awareness. And that time, which is now perceived as completely finite, is very important to live with benefit and meaning. It is important to preserve your health in order to remain in service for a long time, in order to be a support and example to your grown children. So that they are not afraid to grow up and live this life at any age. This is a very important task for me. And middle age is also a time for me. Many life tasks have been completed, and I understand that I am a very important person in my life, it depends on me how I live my WHOLE life, what example I will leave behind. I could write for a long time on this topic, but if you feel something like what I described, I recommend reading James Hollis’s book, Midway Pass. I think it will help you become more aware of yourself and what is happening to you. After all, this is really the time when old supports are collapsing, and new ones may not yet be built in. This is a time of loss. Before our eyes, parents grow old and weaken, and we become witnesses to their old age, which is not always rosy. Close people die. For me, the irreparable loss was not even the death of my dad (he has been gone for 9 years), but the death of my grandmother. She died more than a year ago and it was with her (despite my adult age) that my childhood died. This may sound strange, but that's how I feel about it. How loss can be felt when children grow up and move into independent life. There is a reason for joy and a time for sadness. In general, a lot changes at this age; it is not for nothing that it is called a crisis age. Moreover, this is the most severe normative crisis in a person’s life, after adolescence. So, if you feel that you can’t cope, my advice to you is to contact a psychologist, it will be easier to overcome it and reach a new qualitative level of your development and self-awareness. And then the crisis can turn into your resource. And it's worth a lot!