Not so long ago, I wrote about aggression in general. Now I would like to talk about what we, parents, can do when a child falls into an aggressive state. 1. I think we still need to start by understanding the very reasons for these manifestations. What underlies the aggressive manifestation at the moment. And only then draw conclusions and take some decisive actions. 2. A very important point. Aggressive feelings must be legalized; they cannot be kept to oneself. Such pent-up feelings can be the cause of poor physical condition. Allow children to express their aggression in a playful way. 3. Next I would like to say about the unconditional acceptance on the part of the parents of everything that does not happen. This gives the children a lot of confidence and support. Refrain from blaming and rejecting. Phrases: “if you behave like this... then mom and dad won’t love you anymore!” - They hurt children very much. You cannot insult a child or call him names. Show displeasure with your child's actions, but not with his personality. 4. One of the reasons for aggressive behavior may be a feeling of loneliness. By showing aggression, the child reminds you of himself and draws your attention to his presence. 5. If a child asks you to play with him, give him attention. Ten minutes of your sincere involvement in his life is enough for children. But, if you cannot, then show politeness, show him that you understand his request and explain why you cannot fulfill it at the moment: “Do you want me to read you a book? Baby, your mother loves you very much, but I’m so tired from work. Please play alone today.” Otherwise, your silent refusal will provoke the child to make an aggressive move. 6. And one more important point - there is no need to bribe your child with expensive toys and gifts. For him, your immediate attention is much more important and necessary. 7. Children are like carbon copies, and if you still do not want manifestations of aggression, dear parents, be attentive to your own behavior and expressions. Kids will accurately reflect everything you do. The first example of social behavior for a child is the family. 8. Talk to your child about his feelings. Translating a child's feelings from action into words will allow him to learn that he can talk about them, and not necessarily fight right away. Also, the child will gradually master the language of his feelings and it will be easier for him to tell you that he is offended, upset, angry, etc., rather than trying to attract your attention with his “terrible” behavior. 9. Adults often think for children, and seem to know their feelings and emotions better. An adult can only guess, based on his experience, on self-observation, on observation of others, what the child’s behavior means. The child must be an active storyteller about his inner world, and the adult only creates such an opportunity and provides the means for the child to express his feelings. 10. When a child becomes uncontrollable in his hysterics, a very good way is a hug. Judge for yourself, the warmth of a calm person next to you calms you down. Also, a hug, after all, is a kind of symbol of shackles; you immobilize the rebel a little, and also let him know that you are nearby, with him. This behavior not only calms you down, but also makes it clear to your baby that emotions can be controlled. 11. Respect your child’s personality, consider his opinion, take his feelings seriously. Provide your child with sufficient freedom and independence for which the child will be responsible. At the same time, show him that if necessary, if he asks, you are ready to give advice or help. The child must have his own territory, his own life, to which adults are allowed to enter only with his consent. 12. The opinion of some parents that “their children should not have any secrets from them” is considered erroneous. It is not permissible to rummage through his things, read letters, eavesdrop on telephone conversations, or spy! If a child trusts you, sees you.