I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link




















I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Open text

In practice, I often come across people who complain that life has not been successful, that they have no strength, disappointment, lack of money, bad work and lack of freedom. Let's think together how we can change this situation. I would be glad if you share your experience of how you work with such clients or, perhaps, you yourself had to get out of a similar situation. In such cases, I always try to rely on a resource. Find out if there is anything in life that makes you happy? What did you dream about as a child? What do you like to do? What are you willing to do even if you don't get paid for it? With a borderline level of organization - in low-functioning psychopaths and narcissists, we are more likely to see denial, devaluation and other extremely negative assessments of the situation and life in general, as well as a demonstration of one’s worst sides (for example, he liked to torture animals, younger children, steal, masturbate, etc.). d.) for the purpose of obtaining an emotional response, in order to use the other as a mirror to fill the nuclear void, and not for the purpose of resolving the situation. Due to the internal personal emptiness, the resource of such clients has yet to be developed, for which the focus of work should be directed not outside, but inside the client. With a relatively healthy psyche, it is usually possible to find the answer. Even in depression there is a memory of emotions that a person once felt. Then I suggest thinking about where you can apply this. Maybe start knitting (baking, drawing, writing, babysitting, etc.) to order? Teach others what you know? Come up with 10 more options and start trying. At first it’s free or inexpensive, and when you understand what you can do, you can start charging money for it. This is the only win-win way out of hiring if you don’t have millionaire relatives near death. At this point, even very warmed-up clients experience resistance. The psyche has a natural need to maintain stability and security, which means finding a reason not to change anything. The case begins to seem huge and overwhelming, the client complains of a lack of strength. CBT methods based on challenging negative beliefs work well here. Usually, after several cycles of playing “Yes, but...” with oneself, the client’s arguments end, the ability to control decreases, and we get an outburst of anger. Bingo! Anger is a sthenic emotion. It gives strength. It is about the function of anger as an ally that we can tell the client. “You are resisting, trying to place aggression. This means there is strength and energy! We need to learn to redirect it not to maintain an unsatisfactory, but familiar and safe situation, but to change it.” It is important to motivate the client to start acting on the basis of existing skills, not to wait for more favorable conditions, not to learn something new, not to perfect their skills, but to immediately apply them. Otherwise, there is a great risk of not starting work, using perfectionism as a defense against possible failure. “To do something, you just need to do it. Perfectionism is a defense against defeat by refusing to perform. And in any case, you already have more experience than people far from your field. This means there is something to share." Next, it is important to find a field for possible application of talents, to help them manifest themselves, to become noticeable to others. "The world is not limited to one company where you work; the skill may certainly be useful somewhere else. But until you offer, they won’t know about you. Don't look for reasons why it won't work out. Focus your attention on finding opportunities. Place an ad on the Internet to get started. Tell your friends that you can help in your field.” It is important that the client has insurance along this journey. This can be a great strategy for small steps. “Don’t act on the all-or-nothing principle.” There will not be a lot of success right away, but gradually perseverance will bear fruit, and failures will be small, like steps, and will be easier to experience. The steps need to not only be reduced, but planned. You want a big jump. But life is no longer like that.

posts



5108515
34431910
14404723
85597119
40668109