From the author: We all create myths. Sometimes myths help you live, and sometimes they destroy you. The influence of the past on today. How to see this influence. Change the past or change your attitude and continue living today. We will not be free from the scars we received in childhood, but we can heal them today, understand them, accept them and begin to live. But if we “get stuck” in our experiences, thus creating our own myth, our own life story, we, already as adults, seem to be reliving our childhood traumas over and over again. We make mistakes again and again. We regret, we worry, we don’t sleep at night, we cry. And again we make mistakes. Sometimes there comes a time when we stop crying, stop noticing our experiences, and close ourselves off from sadness. And then our body begins to “speak.” This can be a variety of pains, usually at first without a clear etiology. Headache, stomach, diarrhea, constipation, back “shoots”, heart “aches”, etc. And we begin to worry about our physical health. Everything is clear here. If it hurts, go to the doctor, he will make a diagnosis and prescribe pills. The process of self-destruction began. I remember the patient, a man, 55 years old, a civil servant, who was in good standing at work. Respected by colleagues. Mentor for young people. Always ready to help. Everything for others, while forgetting yourself. Divorced for many years. An adult daughter lives separately. I suffered from depression for more than ten years. When I was young, vodka helped. He loved to organize “holidays” with a cheerful feast, music, and dancing. If you're lucky, the woman will be there for the night, or even several. Then antidepressants were added to the vodka. They helped, but the “aching feeling of melancholy” did not go away. Physical health has deteriorated. He noted loss of sensitivity in his fingers and back pain. I was treated by a chiropractor with variable results. He came to work reluctantly. My work became slower, more boring, and I lost my creativity. However, he received a promotion at work. A leadership position required more strength, which became less and less. Colleagues began to hear from him about his reluctance to live, “but anyway, I don’t want a pension anymore.” Two years later he committed an offense and went to prison. It would seem that an intelligent person, without sociopathic tendencies, commits a criminal offense. Why? Depression. The patient felt his “badness” as unsettledness in his personal life. I tried to cope with it with the help of free constant help to others, then with the help of vodka, antidepressants, and career growth. Did not help. Depression, or rather the feeling of one’s own badness, corroded everything from the inside and reached the most important thing - it began to destroy the most important thing - life. Prison is a hidden suicide. “I feel so bad that I will destroy my job, my freedom.” His inner feeling of not deserving happiness, his internal framework, limiting beliefs led to the fact that the internal prison was projected externally, it became a reality. He is too bad to live happily and freely. Young woman, 38 years old. The youngest in the family. Before school, she was raised by her grandmother. Returning to my mother, I discovered that I was not loved by my mother. She suddenly discovered that she had lost love and found herself alone. Despite the fact that I lived in a complete family, there was always a feeling of emptiness and unlove. My grandmother remained the closest person in my life. My mother was left with a feeling of injustice and punishment (her mother often beat her and called her offensive words: incompetent, mediocrity). I was not accepted by my colleagues at work. There were even cases of incomprehensible physical attacks on her by work colleagues. She was married three times. All three husbands left her, going to others. Each time she strived for happiness, but found disrespect for herself. She believed that she was open to people, ready to help them and do only good, but she was rejected. To understand this vicious circle, we had to go back to distant childhood. What is happiness for a little girl? It turned out that happiness for the patient is suffering. Feel humiliated, feel abandoned. And to suffer.