Hello, friends! Due to the current situation, there is a lot of information now about the virus, quarantines, self-isolation... But I would like to talk to you today about something else (after all, quarantine will end, and many issues that have now faded into the background will remain). In fact, the period of self-isolation is quite fertile ground for establishing relationships with yourself (first of all), as well as for deeper knowledge of yourself and the motives of your actions, the reasons for your reactions. Such self-examination also has a positive “side effect” - you switch your attention from constant monitoring of stressful information to yourself (and this is a very valuable switch in any period of life). So, the topic of our “conversation” today is our desires! How often do you come across the phrase “I don’t know what I want” - either in your own thoughts, or hearing it from someone around you? But is this really so - does a person (YOU?) really not know what he wants or not everything so simple and on the surface? Today I would like to invite you to consider two “sources” of such a misunderstanding of your desires - perhaps some of this is happening to you and will help lift the “veil of secrecy”... 1. Conflict within the individual! Quite often, a feeling (phrase) that sounds like “I don’t know what I want” hides an internal conflict between what is desired and what is acceptable (approved by the person himself or his (her) environment)! That is, a person has desires, but they are felt as something unacceptable, unrealizable or criticized by loved ones (social stereotypes), or these desires do not fit into the roles that a person realizes in life. Then we are dealing with the fact that a person is “forced” to choose his desires from those that are acceptable and approved, but there is nothing attractive there exactly for him. It’s as if you came to a restaurant with a desire to eat kebab, but it’s not on the menu, you are offered to choose from an assortment of any other dishes that you don’t want and a feeling (state) is born that you don’t know what want. If we move away from the metaphor with food, then a person may be burdened with obligations, but really desire something that does not fit into these obligations, prohibit himself from these desires on an unconscious level, and on a conscious level not know what he (she) wants .To understand whether this topic is about you, try asking yourself the question (and answering it honestly): “If I had a magic wand now, what would I wish for?” - and see what comes to your mind in response... 2. Internal prohibition! Another reason for not understanding one’s desires may be that from childhood a person was “weaned” from wanting something, and gradually this skill began to work independently, and a person on an unconscious level either forbids himself desires or “does not hear” them. This happens. , when from childhood the child’s wishes are criticized or challenged by adults. Most often this comes through refusals without explanation, or through negative criticism of the child’s desires and requests, or through verbal and non-verbal messages on the topic that the child’s desires are overwhelming or very difficult for adults. The child gradually gets used to the fact that he (she) will either receive criticism in response to desires, or negativity, or will burden his very beloved parents with his desires. This is how the (often unconscious) conviction is formed that desires are evil, that wanting something It’s impossible for yourself and it’s even very bad. And through these beliefs, the connection with the understanding of your “wants” is lost. To test yourself on this point, you can think about how willingly you fulfill the wishes of your loved ones, how often do you give something to your loved ones, do for them, and how often do you -do you buy the simplest thing for yourself or do it for yourself? And you can also try to remember stories from your childhood - how willingly your wishes were fulfilled by adults, did they explain to you the reasons for refusals, and how did the adults themselves feel about their desires (were they inclined to sacrifice) ? I hope that in this article I was able to be useful to you, friends! If so, I will