From the author: Very often in the process of therapy it turns out that the roots of the client’s problems stretch back to his childhood. So, some are then offended by their parents for such a phenomenon. I suggest looking at this situation from the other side and transforming resentment into gratitude. It is not uncommon for an adult to regret that childhood was “not quite what I would have liked.” Everyone has their own uncomfortable moments associated with this. There are really a lot of situations. Yes, children, in fact, are initially in a disadvantageous, dependent position. And the younger the child, the more difficult it is for him to protect himself from what is happening. But childhood is behind him. In adulthood, we begin to face various kinds of problems: fears, insecurities, low self-esteem, inability to build relationships, psychosomatic diseases, dysfunctional family life, difficulties in achieving what we want, etc. Moreover, we even understand (sometimes with the help of specialists) the reasons for what is happening. And since most often they are laid down in childhood, it seems to us that our relatives are to blame for everything. It is then that a feeling of resentment arises: “If they had not acted in such and such a way, then everything would be different now” or “It would be better if they divorced (separated, did not give birth to me).” That is, the emphasis of our attention shifts to what others should have done or not done. In this case, parents. In addition, when reasoning from a position of resentment, a person automatically falls into the state of victim. And victims, as we know, are helpless creatures. They believe that they cannot influence the situation at all now. But is this so? Yes, childhood was exactly like that. However, we are adults now. And, every time we are faced with life’s troubles, with our limitations, we independently make a decision: to take up work on them or continue to complain about our difficult fate. Let’s look at a specific situation for clarity. For example, my mother lived with her drinking father. Every time they had scandals and showdowns. The children, naturally, watched all this. And sometimes it fell to them too. A fear of violence developed inside. And having grown up, there is a high probability that the daughters from such a family will either also marry an alcoholic, or choose a partner who will cause, if not physical, then moral harm. When a woman realizes her family scenario, she may think: “If only mom Then I left my father, we would have lived in peace, we would not have seen scandals and, look, our fate would have turned out differently.” Perhaps so... But you cannot erase the facts from history. What to do? I suggest you look at your past as if from the outside. Not from the inside, but from the outside. Imagine that childhood events are a movie that you watched in 5D format. And after watching it, they left the cinema (in a way, they left the family for adulthood). So, the film was on the topic of safety precautions. Something from a series of videos from the Ministry of Emergency Situations. For example, on the eve of winter, they often issue warnings to refrain from walking on frozen bodies of water. In some places the ice was not yet thick enough to support a person's weight. And therefore, you can fall through, get frostbite, and if no one is nearby, you can even drown. Then we ourselves make the decision: to listen to these recommendations or to shorten the path and cross to the other side across the river or lake. It’s the same in life. Parents, one might say, showed by their example what the consequences could be in certain styles of interaction. They encouraged us to think about our own lives. Make it better and of higher quality. Moreover, the roles were performed so well that the lesson made an impression and was properly learned. Remember! It's like being at school. It’s one thing for a teacher to dryly present the material. And it’s completely different if you showed pictures, posters or even videos. Then it gets much better. Thus, the parents actually sacrificed their well-being in order to protect their children from such mistakes, to set them on the right path. Already