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From the author: What prevents the client from understanding his desires in consultations. And how to work with this in the method of positive psychotherapy. When I first started studying in the method of positive psychotherapy, it was not news to me that all consultations have a structure, or rather an algorithm. In consultations, he helps us keep the direction of the process, and also does not allow us to go into the depths of unknown problems and issues. Compliance with the algorithm is one of the main criteria for good consultation. I want to tell you what I encountered in the first stages of the algorithm. In the 5-step model, these stages correspond to the 1st step, “Distancing.” For a long time, I sincerely believed that the difficult stage in the 5-step model was distancing, namely, “Complaining.” Since the client, being at the stages of “Complaint”, is emotionally charged with memories inflicted on him by micro- or macro-trauma, and he will not always readily tell you: “I want to learn to live differently,” and this is not always necessary . And so it was, many of my consultations were delayed by a complaint, and I lived with my clients, found a resource for further work, and then everything went like clockwork, there was a desire and there was a request, and there was a resource to work and move on. However, it is clear It’s time to change my idea of ​​distancing, and I met a client who had problems not at the “Complaint” stage, but at the “Desire” stage. Yes, my client didn't know what she wanted. I explained to myself my surprise at this fact by the fact that I had the assumption that everyone has “Desire” and problems with it should not arise. Then the realization came that desire is part of inspiration and dreams, and not everyone can, and is ready to break away from reality in order to achieve what was planned. I had several hypotheses why problems arose at the “Desire” stage. The first hypothesis: lack of resource, which may indicate a reluctance to move on and simply an unwillingness to see any prospects, because there is no strength to go there. The second hypothesis: the complaint has not been fully lived out, which can also turn the client from a complaint to a desire, without giving time to realize what is happening. Well, the third hypothesis: poor therapeutic contact, which can stall the process and indicate an uncomfortable situation for the client to disclose. All my assumptions regarding this client turned out to be false, but these 3 criteria helped me in consultations with other clients who had the same problem. In this individual case, during a meeting with the above-mentioned client, I asked a simple question that helped to discover the reason for the difficulties in manifesting desires. Question: “What do you want?”, to which the client could not hold back her tears and replied, “No one has ever asked me what I want.” After this, it became clear that this is not just counseling, but more therapeutic counseling, where you need more time to live and that there will probably be work with basic settings. If, when approaching the “Desires” stage, the process slows down for me, then now I know that this for the reasons and how to work through them. I want to share them with you. Since this is from my personal experience, everyone may have completely different situations, so I will be glad if my experience is useful to you.1) The lack of resource, which can be filled with a visual metaphor, especially with the balanced model of F- and F+, since you you describe the image more clearly and give it feelings, thoughts and sensations. 2) An unlived complaint. The techniques of “positive re-interpretation” at the levels of comprehension helped me, and “transfer to the future” also fits well: what would have happened if this had not happened? And what will happen when it ends or loses importance? 3) Insufficient therapeutic contact. It can be established thanks to metaphor, connecting mine and the client’s metaphors to the consultation process and supporting it with a “cross-cultural approach”: in what ways are we similar, in what ways are we different and what can we teach each other? And finally 4) The reason for the problems with the Desire stage that I encountered turned out to be basic?

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