Spring continues, and those who have not yet found a partner, one way or another continue to look for a soul mate for love and joy. And, of course, something more. And now the candidate has been found. And then the girls get stuck on an important question: “When can you have sex?” Please note, this is not an idle question, because some beautiful and delightful people have a clear program, for example, “in a month” after the start of dating or “in three” or “after the third date.” The story is moving, and I will try to present my view on this task. Because, at first glance, many men are looking for “sex for sex’s sake,” but in reality this is not entirely true. Most often, by “bringing through” girls, they look for the only one who will “hook”, check how strong the applicant’s moral principles are, take revenge on their ex and at the same time hope that they will find the one who will calm down their pain (they are consoled), etc. As you can see, there are many motives. And it seems that all the motives are somehow related to sex. But... they are connected with sex only at first glance. Men with the above reasons, psychological, so to speak, properties, mind you, try to solve their problems through sex. Therefore, in my opinion, there is no need to rush into sex. It is better to break up if a man begins to blackmail and put pressure. People often ask me, “Well, what if the girl also wants sex.” All girls who “want sex,” too, upon closer examination, have motives that do not lie at all in the area of ​​sex for the most part. They want someone wonderful to love them, to love them, mind you, and not to use their bodies for orgasm. There are exceptions to the rules, but we are now talking about long-term relationship building, right? If you have a habit of falling into codependent relationships, you need to do something about this habit first, and then go on dates. Because girls often make a well-known mistake: they decide to have sex too early. In fact, with a man I still don’t know. Not understanding his true intentions and hoping for the best, he also experiences the same impulses to merge. In fact, in codependent couples, one often runs away and the other catches up. It is about such stories that there is a saying: “Before a woman goes to bed with a man for the first time, she has complete power over him, after the first sex, the power completely passes into his hands.” Think about it! Power, not love. And why are there fewer women who lose interest in a man after the first sex than men? You can answer this question yourself in the comments). Because the secret when it’s time for sex is to intertwine first with souls, and then with bodies. Some are, in principle, not ready for this, and it doesn’t matter whether they are men or women. They just don't know how. Therefore, the second secret: you need to work on yourself, know what a woman is like and what she needs, what mistakes she can make, learn to recognize lies and hypocrisy, and, maybe this is strange, to trust the world correctly. And the third secret - you don’t need to think that sex for a man and a woman is the same thing, that is, in most cases, a woman is looking for love and relationships, a man often uses sex to solve his psychological problems, and they, problems, sometimes do not about love and relationships. If you want to “buy” a relationship for sex, then it doesn’t work. Therefore, if you are stuck between the fear that he will leave without sex and the desire to create a relationship with him, choose the first thing - leave, and solve your psychological problems first of all. And, believe me, men are great at distinguishing between a girl who respects herself and her boundaries and one who is “stuck” in refusing sex simply because “that’s the way it’s accepted.” During the act of love there must be love, and not just satisfaction of the sexual instinct. This is how we differ from animals. And when your souls are intertwined, it doesn’t matter when exactly this sex happens. Something else becomes important. Guess what?) © Psychologist Natalia Branitskaya, 2019. Copying is possible only with the author indicated and a link to this site.