Treason... What is it? What can be considered cheating in a partnership? Maybe this is when a partner “hangs out” on social networks, communicating with the opposite sex? Or maybe it’s when your “half” again and again in his memories turns to his former lover/lover? Or maybe it's flirting with employees? Or a one-time emotional outburst that ended in the same bed? Or maybe this is when a partner has a long-term, emotional relationship, for example, with walks along the embankment, discussions about the movie they watched, dinners on Wednesdays, etc.? Or maybe this is a long-term physical relationship with one person, or maybe not with one? Or maybe something else? Of course, there are different classifications of cheating... What pushes a partner to cheat? And here there are certain, maybe even stereotyped answers, for example, lack of attention, desire for novelty, acuity in sensations, and much more. etc. And someone will say that, for example, in men this is inherent in nature, and this instinct is stronger than them... but I would like, my friends, to cite the story of one woman who made a request related specifically to adultery. So, Marina, 39 years old, married for 18 years, mother of two children, successful in her professional activities, as well as her husband, who, in her words, dotes on her, and she answers him in the same way. But, paradoxically, Marina’s life constantly arises, as she herself said: “... affairs on the side. I knew and know that I would never leave my husband, and I don’t want this... But men periodically appear in my life, almost just meeting their eyes is enough... like fire burns... and that’s it, away we go... and it’s stronger than me. Moreover, men generally take me very seriously, they are even ready to marry me or insist on a long-term relationship, but I don’t need this... it’s just a craving, sometimes one-time meetings are enough... Of course, I take care of my husband, I do everything so that he doesn’t know about these connections, but I myself feel guilty, and really I am guilty... Of course, I tried to cope with myself, I even forbade myself from any possible relationships, but then some kind of fury took over me, I became aggressive , unrestrained... and my family suffered from this, and of course, my husband first of all... And now I’m in a new relationship again... And I know that I’ll probably hurt this man too by breaking up with him, and again I feel guilty in front of my husband, and most importantly, I myself am already tired of all this...” Of course, someone may have a question: where is this woman’s “internal controller”, what’s wrong with her super-ego? Why can't she control herself? Ah ah ah! Well well well! She has such a wonderful husband, such a family, and she!? But let's leave these moral reproaches... It was clear how this well-groomed, successful, self-confident woman was worried, telling her story and answering my questions, it was visible, felt and felt the suffering of this woman... it was visible, felt and felt that Marina was ready solve your problem. To the question: “If you imagine that some miracle suddenly happened, and you wake up tomorrow with the knowledge that your situation has been resolved, how will you feel then? How can your life change? You should have seen Marina at that moment, she seemed to have perked up, her eyes sparkled, her shoulders straightened, a smile appeared... “I will feel free, my love with my husband will be even greater, our relationship will become even stronger... I will not rush into a whirlpool of relationships that I don’t need…” my client said with pain and at the same time with relief. Of course, I will not describe the entire course of our work. I will only highlight the significant points. Marina grew up in a complete family, the eldest of three children. She always knew that her parents loved her, “well, maybe a little less than the younger ones.” Mom was quite authoritarian, and dad was quite strict and dry. But, despite this, the little girl was very drawn to her father, who, due to business trips,was often absent from home or worked late. She had a very conflictual relationship with her mother as a teenager, and “then somehow everything evened out...”. The most vivid and pleasant memories from childhood are skiing in the winter and cycling in the summer with my dad. And the whole world in Marina’s childhood and youth “revolved” around her dad - excellent grades for dad, achievements in sports for dad, etc. And dad, taking all her impulses and results for granted, occasionally said dryly, distantly: “Well done, and no more...”. Because of this, Marina “...often cried and was offended..., and then gathered together and went into battle again - for achievements for dad...”. When Marina met her future husband, she “felt feelings of trust, security and reliability... And that’s exactly how he treated me, and even now, he still treats me that way... A spark ran between us, and we realized that we were made for each other . Almost a year after we met, we decided to get married and have been together ever since...” I suggested that Marina use Playmobile figures to create an image of the relationship between her and her husband, let’s call him Victor. The woman, without thinking for a long time, placed a female figurine in the middle of the table, and behind her, at a very close distance, a male figurine. To the question: “What do you see, what do you feel when you look at this image,” Marina said: “I see a couple - a man and a woman who are very close to each other. A man supports, protects, protects his woman. And they feel good and pleasant together.” Then we reproduced this image on the floor using anchors. Marina took “her place,” and I took “the place” of her husband. And we “surrendered” to the dynamics of the field. I, as Victor’s deputy, felt a flow of love for my wife, I felt that this man was always ready to support and protect her. But gradually my strength weakened and my back began to hurt. I had to spend a lot of strength to stay in this place. But out of love for Marina, “I was ready to endure this physical discomfort.” The client described her sensations and feelings as follows: “I feel very good and pleased. I feel Victor on my back and feel his support. I’m just a little uncomfortable because I don’t see him, but everything’s fine.” To compare the feelings and sensations we were experiencing, Marina and I swapped places. The dynamics repeated themselves. We stood there for several minutes; we didn’t want to move. But suddenly, with “Marina”, in whose place I now stood, something began to happen. There was a feeling that something or someone was missing, and “Marina” set out to search, looking around... Having taken her place, my client, almost exactly, repeated my movements. Can you guess who Marina's Soul went looking for? Of course, a man! Already from the initial image it was clear that there was confusion in the relationship between Marina and Victor. Marina, both in therapy and in life, “put” her husband in the place of her dad, whom she lacked in childhood, and Victor, out of love for his wife, gave both the support of his father and the love of his husband at the same time, while weakening himself physically it’s hard, it’s not easy to “carry” two roles. By the way, as Marina later said, her husband started having problems with his back and blood pressure three years ago. Well, this is true, by the way, maybe these symptoms are not connected with Victor’s place in their family system with Marina, or maybe they are connected - I, in Victor’s place, clearly felt physical discomfort in the lumbar region. Of course, I added the figure of Marina’s father to this arrangement, thereby giving Victor his rightful place - the place of a loving and beloved husband. And I will not describe all the dynamics that began to unfold here. I will not describe working with “dad”. I will only say that a little later, it was very touching when Marina, lovingly looking into “the eyes of her husband” (here the cataleptic hand was already working), quietly said with tears: “My dear husband. Darling... now I see you... I see you as a man, the only man for me... And I want to go through life only with you... only with.