Guilt vs shame Some phenomena in psychology are very close and at first glance similar to each other. For example, feelings of shame and guilt. But they have fundamental differences. Guilt We feel guilty when our action does not correspond to our values ​​and ideas about what is right and what is wrong. If I did not ask a colleague if I could eat his sandwich and ate it, then I may feel guilt. This happens because I believe in the rule: before taking someone else’s property, you need to ask permission. Shame We feel ashamed when our action does not fit into the social framework. Let’s say that it is normal for me to take someone else’s property without asking. And I ate that same sandwich. And, of course, his owner was upset and complained about his experiences to his colleagues at work. They replied that it was disgusting and wrong to do this. I hear this and begin to feel ashamed. Because in the eyes of my colleagues I did a bad thing. My society tells me that I do not fit into its framework. The example of shame and guilt quite clearly describes two important components of human life - the internal position and its consistency with society. On the one hand, our principles and values ​​are the framework that determines our actions. I do not accept my action if, in my personal opinion, it is not correct. It's about guilt. On the other hand, many norms and principles are dictated by society. If society believes that I am not suitable for it, I begin to consider myself wrong. It's about shame. Both feelings can be quite destructive. The occurrence of both shame and guilt is closely related to our self-esteem. When we evaluate ourselves at a high level, we remain confident in our abilities, in our actions and decisions. The lower our self-esteem, the more difficult it is for us to remain resilient in stressful situations. For example, if someone else’s sandwich is eaten by a confident person, then shame or guilt will manifest itself to a lesser extent. When we accept ourselves as we are, we make wrong decisions and the fact that someone may not like us. Therefore, it is so important to learn to listen and hear yourself, take care of yourself and accept.