From the author: from life and about life. Thin, small and thin, with thin hair and pale freckles on her chlorotic face, her whole appearance evoked melancholy and a feeling of pity. And her eyes were full of heart-squeezing melancholy, only very rarely did they light up with a sparkle. Valyusha loved fried potatoes very much, in the orphanage they fried them only for the New Year and it was the most delicious holiday. The warmth from her spread from the stomach throughout the whole body and it even became a little fun. Then, later, when she got married, she often remembered its taste. And I didn’t eat bread at all. In the orphanage, everyone had a supply of bread. They didn’t hide it under the pillow, they would definitely find it there right away, but a piece of bread from lunch or dinner was saved just in case. Oh, how the teachers fought over this. One found Valyusha’s supplies and put her barefoot on the cold floor in the toilet for two hours. Valya didn’t even cry and endured the punishment in silence. But the experience of hunger firmly and unwaveringly demanded that we make secret reserves. And Valya hid the bread again and again. And then, out of fear of punishment, she stopped hiding. Until the age of nine, Valyusha had nocturnal enuresis, and, oh, how the teachers fought because of this. One hit her leg with a broom so bad that Valyusha walked and hobbled for a whole week. She called her to the toilet early in the morning and shouted at her in front of everyone, called her names and forced her to wash this huge wet sheet after herself. While she was being retrained, the other girls stood and watched silently with fear and horror, huddled close to each other, each waiting for her turn. At night for the next few days, no one could sleep for a long time except the teacher, who thought that he had found the most effective way to stop these bedwettings. “It’s such a shame - they’ve been so big, for ten years now, and they’re all crawling into bed like babies. Here is my Mishka - I weaned him off diapers early - already at the age of one he rarely wet the bed at night. And these... But it’s okay, I’ll quickly teach them to respect other people’s work,” the nanny thought, lying in bed. “When I grow up, everything will be different for me, I’ll have a family.” And there will be a baby, and I will love him. And I will never, ever scold him. I wish I could grow up soon,” Valya thought every evening and fell into sleep, exhausted with thoughts. Valya’s story was similar to every second one in the orphanage. Vali's mother left and left her and her brother and sister to her husband. He started drinking, or rather, he was already drinking, but he started drinking even harder and even more bitterly, he was deprived of parental rights and the children ended up in an orphanage. And finally the day has come - graduation. Hooray! It is not yet clear how and where to go, what to live on, where to work, but finally it happened. And Valya by that time was already in her third month of pregnancy. There was a friend, Mishka. He comes from a family. A normal guy, as Valyushka thought. Well, he drinks beer every evening with his friends and goes with them to some club where he can win money, but he also earns so well. He works in such a difficult job - a loader, and at home his mother is so angry, they always want to kick him out with his sister. They even called the police once. “No one can understand him like that. His mother is bad, and his sister is a complete goose.” And then he came to her at the orphanage and they sat so tenderly for a long, long time in the gazebo on the street. He circled her in his arms, hugged and kissed her, and Valya fell in love. Many envied her happiness, and then they began to consider her happiness as their own and waited together and shouted “Mishka has arrived” when he approached the door. One day Valya went with him to his friends for his birthday and they were together all night. Valyusha moved in with Misha. Or rather, to the apartment where everyone lived - his mother and his sister, and they were given two rooms. Valyushka was diligent and cleaned every day. She didn’t know how to cook, but she had long ago read how potato pancakes were made and fried them almost every day. And when the baby was born, she couldn’t breastfeed him - she was taken to the hospital, but she didn’t throw away the remaining formula, but made pancakes. And above the entrance to her and Misha’s room she hung a poster: “There is definitely happiness, I found out.” But somehow this happiness was not there, although she tried. Misha, after the baby was born, became somewhere.