Problems begin when a person stops hearing himself, his feelings and needs. Or he hears, but does not follow him because of various considerations (for example, “what will they think of me?” or “you never know what I want” or “if I do this, he will definitely leave me,” etc. ). And at the same time, he acts in a way that is safe or correct (often from the point of view of other people), but inside himself he begins to feel boredom, displeasure, torment about his self-esteem, envy, anger, etc. And all this instead of inspiration, joy, pleasure , pleasure, feeling of one’s own strength “I can do it! I’m great!”, gaining new experience, perhaps courage, etc. Or it can be more complicated: everything seems to be going well for such a person, but for some reason, for example, he cannot complete the work he has begun (he starts and gives up, starts and gives up), etc. For example, a colleague said something unpleasant to you or made a bad joke, but you were embarrassed and kept silent intelligently instead of saying: “I don’t like such jokes” or “It’s none of your business,” but you spent two hours chasing thoughts about this situation. Driving for two hours is actually a problem :) Or, for example, young girls often complain that they have nowhere to meet men. But often the problem is that in her life, for example, in a cafe, she notices these very rare males in nature, and even feels sympathy, excitement and a desire to get to know each other, and she would look straight into the eyes and smile, but she turns away (otherwise, God forbid, what else she might think!) Or not only young girls, but most of us are often afraid and do not approach strangers because they are afraid that they will be rejected... Or a young man is studying in university at the technical faculty. And he doesn’t have a common language with the nine types of spatial geometry. And the specialty does not cause him much enthusiasm, rather melancholy... Perhaps he even understands that, for example, he would like to be a doctor. Or maybe he doesn’t even understand what kind of activity his heart lies in. And often such a young person will finish his studies in a technical specialty, because “my dad is a physicist, and I should become a physicist” or “I’ve already studied for two years, it’s a pity to lose them”, “they only get into medical school for a lot of money”, “you need to earn money” money, and not think about what you want,” “mom and dad won’t approve,” etc. And it doesn’t matter that success (including material) is often easier to achieve in your favorite activity, in activities for which you have a natural inclination. And the fullness of life (including meaning and pleasure) directly depends on whether a person is satisfied with his work. And some people do not leave the refrigerator at all. They constantly chew this and that and, apart from food, there is very little of them in life, which makes me happy. They go on diets and break down... People who are dependent (on food, on chemicals, on people) have forgotten how to hear themselves, or refuse to hear something (for example, the voice of loneliness - if you are lonely and sad, then you can try not to think about it and get at least some pleasure from a cake, for example) and instead of their inner voice they hear the voice of dependence (“let’s eat another cake”, “I wish I had a drink”, etc.) And problems can only be solved by learning to be yourself, having learned to hear “my Self!”, I want my own, having gained the strength to do as you want, and not your mother, or your spouse, or just the people around you. P.S.: naturally, there are exceptions everywhere. P.S.2 : Gestalt therapists are very good at helping you learn to be yourself, accept yourself, do what you want.