In the last article, we touched on the question of what parents should do when something doesn’t work out for their child and came to the conclusion that if the child doesn’t ask for your help, then you shouldn’t force it on him, you shouldn’t always stop him, correct, talk about what he is doing wrong. But what to do when the situation is exactly the opposite? What to do when a child asks for your help, says that it is difficult for him, when he cannot cope with a task or something? Is it right to ignore a request for help, giving the child the opportunity to solve the problem himself? What should we do in this case? Before answering this question, let’s remember how children learn something, master something. You’ve probably noticed that at every age your child can do some things independently and He doesn’t need your help, but other things are very difficult for him and he can’t cope without the help of adults, and there are also things that he can’t do even with the support of adults. Everything that a child cannot yet do on his own, but can do together with an adult, is his zone of proximal development, as the famous Russian psychologist L.S. wrote. Vygotsky. Everything that your child does with you today, he will soon learn to do on his own, without any help from you. Thus, in the process of joint performance of complex tasks by parents and children, the range of the child’s skills expands. Therefore, exploring the world around us together with their parents, the child feels more successful, self-confident, strong, and capable. From this follows the conclusion that refusing help to a child when he needs it, when it is difficult for him, is a mistake. Sometimes we, parents, believe that our refusal to help is just motivating the child to move to a higher level of action, urging him in the direction of responsibility, perseverance, perseverance in achieving goals. However, this motivation also has a downside. It is worth remembering that if we often leave a child alone with a problem from his “zone of proximal development,” then he, constantly faced with the failure to independently master a solution to a problem that is still difficult for him, gradually gets used to the fact that “he won’t succeed.” , which means “it’s not worth trying.” Simply, the child will lose faith in himself and his capabilities and will lose the research interest characteristic of children due to self-doubt becoming chronic. Therefore, if a child asks you to help him, respond to his request and invite him to do this task with you - teach him this task and, soon, he will do something similar himself. Take into account that you are doing together only that part of the work that he is not able to handle on his own, and your child does the rest himself. It is important to protect and preserve a child’s initiative and desire to learn something new; it is important to reinforce his desire to expand the range of things that he can do. But how can this activity in business be preserved and developed in a child, and not destroyed in the bud? After all, you can often hear from dissatisfied parents that their child does not want to learn anything at all, does not want to do anything. And why all? Because, most often, it is the parents themselves who are to blame for the fact that the child is passive. This happens when parents systematically do things for the child, saying “give it here, I’ll do it faster; well, whoever does this, it’s wrong - go, play, and I’ll figure it out myself,” and everything in the same spirit. This also happens when an adult stops helping the child in completing some difficult task too early or, on the contrary, you control for too long, not giving the child the opportunity to do the task independently from start to finish, constantly monitoring the process. This is how the child’s activity and his desire to try new things fade away. Therefore, dear parents, be patient and remember that once you yourself learned everything gradually and in many ways your parents helped you.